A quick rant to start the week!

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
5555 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

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llevinso :  

Hey, rant away if it means not keeping it bottled up inside and then eventually exploding on him!

It doesn’t really seem like a big deal but I’m sure the more it happens, the more annoying it is. 

Post # 3
Member
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

 Haha!! This sounds like something my husband would do.  It isn’t a big deal, but when stuff like this happens a lot, it gets really frustrating.  Especially if you are the one in charge of making the grocery list and grocery shopping, because now he just added it back on your to-do list to buy more food.

Rant away.  It helps to get it out here, rather than ending up fighting with your husband.

Post # 4
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

Yeah I agree, rant here all you want but I would just focus on all the positives your husband brings to the table because that far and beyond outweighs stuff like this. And you want him to feel appreciated 🙂 

Post # 5
Member
7558 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I totally feel you! It’s a minor thing in the scheme of things yeah, but it’s the damn principle! Effing use your eyeballs and look around the kitchen before you go to bed, it is not that hard! My husband is the exact same way…most of the time I try not to lose my shit when he forgets something like that, but sometimes, yeah…I lose my shit. It all comes back to the emotional labor concept…like yeah he’s in charge of “solid food” but apparently you still have to remind him to handle these tasks more than once or he’ll forget to do them. My husband is in charge of all cat litter duties while I’m pregnant…but guess who still has to remind him to scoop the litter on a near daily basis or he just forgets and won’t do it. I wish these men would take total ownership over their household responsibilities rather than needing us to hold their hands through it all.

Anyway I feel you bee…I am living with the same type of guy…he’s so wonderful and supportive but sometimes!!!!!!!!! arrrrrrrrrr

Post # 8
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

Hey we all need to vent once in awhile- and I totally get that even a partner who is mostly great, still gets under our skin sometimes. Been there, done that a hundred times over (((hugs)))

Now everyone makes mistakes, forgets something, but TBH I would have been annoyed by the breezy ‘whoops’ response. Especially if you’re the one doing what I call ‘behind the scenes prep work’/ emotional labour (even with generally good and helpful spouses, somehow we seem to get stuck with the lion’s share of this!) ….so, as 

View original reply
lahela017 :  asks, are you the one who has to make the grocery list/ clean the fridge/ do the shopping? Because even if he’s the one prepping the solid food, are you the one who has to add ‘get squash’ back onto your To Do list? 

What if you said to his ‘whoops’ ….”Aww that’s a shame, can you run out and get some more squash and steam a fresh batch? Because now we need squash for little one” 

Because even though my husband is pretty good doing stuff in general, his tasks always seem to involve a step or two for me to complete, emotional labour/ prep work et al. 

p.s. I’m sorry you had PPD earlier on, hope you’re doing well! 

Post # 9
Member
2198 posts
Buzzing bee

Jar food? Pouches? Stock up on those

Post # 10
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Definitely understand having a husband that forgets things a lot. Ranting is necessary.

Also, I’ve been guilty of forgetting to put things in the fridge/freezer; however, that only affected me and I get pretty annoyed with myself.

Post # 12
Member
7558 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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RobbieAndJuliahaha :  “Because even though my husband is pretty good doing stuff in general, his tasks always seem to involve a step or two for me to complete, emotional labour/ prep work et al.”

So much this!!! It drives me batshit. Again with the litter box thing – we have the “Breeze system” which involves a pee pad that has to be changed once a week or it becomes totally saturated and disaster ensues. Dh has now been in charge of litter box duties for over three months….guess who STILL HAS TO REMIND HIM weekly to change this effing pee pad? I did an experiment last week where I just didn’t remind him. It got to about day 11 (should have been changed on day 7) and I finally said something. Hours later, he decided to do it…and the sounds of horror and disgust coming from him as he dealt with this pee-soaked disaster pissed me off so much. I tried to spare you this! Why do I even have to say anything, why can’t you just take total ownership over this ONE TASK??

Ugh, he works a lot more hours than I do so I don’t mind doing the lion’s share of household stuff but I wish those responsibilities he did have he would take 100% ownership of so I could wash my hands of them completely and never think of them again. It might be time for another come to Jesus talk about this issue…last one was like six months ago and I feel like the efffects of it are wearing off at this point. harrumph

Post # 13
Member
1054 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

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llevinso :  I think men have selective eyesight just like they have selective hearing.

My husband has been guilty of doing similar things and when he does, I always say a “serenity now” prayer (from Seinfeld) and try to remember all the good things he has done.  One time he offered to make a pitcher of formula for our daughter as I had a bad cold and felt like crap.  I went to bed early and he got distracted and forgot to put it in the refrigerator.  I woke up to the jug sitting on the counter.  That stuff is expensive and it was literally down the drain.  He felt terrible when I pointed it out.

He tries to help me out by doing some of the shopping but last week he bought the wrong size diapers…again.  He bought a size she hasn’t worn since she was a few months old (my daughter is now 16 months).  I’m due with #2 in August so I just kept them.  I appreciated the effort but I had to do a face palm since he took a picture of the diaper box before he left.

Post # 14
Member
755 posts
Busy bee

This would drive me mad, and has in the past and will in the future!

It’s like they just don’t get that forgetting one thing will add several things back on to your to do list. 

 

 

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