Post # 1
First of all I just want to preface this by saying that I’m insanely irritated with this and I know I’m getting way too worked up over something so small but for some reason I just can’t get over it and need to get it out.
I love dressing up and really love when an opportunity to dress up presents itself, like a wedding. But at the same time I think the dress code has to match the event!
I’m going to a wedding in February and the bride has requested formal attire. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know the true meaning of formal attire because the attire section of her website suggests tuxes or suits for men and floor length gowns and cocktail dresses for women, (So black tie optional not formal). Her wedding however is nowhere near being formal or black tie for that matter and it’s driving me crazy.
She’s asking people to war tuxes and gowns to a Sunday afternoon wedding in a public park followed by an indoor reception in a very simple banquet hall, (think along the lines of a gym or ymca meeting room) where she’ll be serving a Mexican food buffet. Absolutely nothing wrong with Sunday afternoon in a park and I loooove Mexican food but that is absolutely not something you wear a gown or a tux to.
So now I, along with many other guests, am completely at a loss for what to wear to honor the bride’s wishes but not feel ridiculouus at the same time. URGH!
ok rant over. thanks for sticking with me.
Post # 3
ouuuuf… I hear ya.
I have kind of the opposite problem. my Future Mother-In-Law is insisting on dressing like this is black tie….
Our dress code? no jeans/business casual.
I’d wear a cocktail dress.. that way it isn’t too bad.. and can kinda go both ways, you know?
Post # 4
@Meowkers: Thats annoying! I think a lot of people don’t understand what black tie optional means anymore.
Post # 5
@Meowkers: That is odd. I wouldn’t purchase a new outfit for it.
Post # 6
Ooh, that’s a little crazy. I would feel like such a nincompoop wearing an evening gown and eating Mexican food in a simple banquet hall. It just doesn’t seem to work.
Post # 7
Wow. Yeah, that’s really dumb. If you’re asking your guests to dress formally, you owe them a formal dinner, or at least cocktails and fancy hors d’oeuvres. That’s like telling people to wear swimsuits to your house, and when they get there, you have no pool.
IMO Sunday afternoon should be no more formal than what one would wear to a traditional church service–khakis and button-ups for the men, and cotton or lace dresses, not floor-length, for the ladies. If it’s at a country club or other high-class place, add a sportcoat for the men and maybe pumps and hats for the ladies, but certainly not things like sequins or tuxedos.
If you already have these things in your closet, though, just play along. She is the bride. She will realize the error of her ways when her pictures look ridiculous. For the record, I will be having the opposite problem at my wedding, but at least my guests will be comfortable and won’t have to buy new clothes on my account.
Post # 8
Might be that she is dealing with a super casual group of people and she knows how they dress for occassions, so she is telling them to dress REALLY fancy, hoping to prompt them into at least business-casual wear.
OR, she has no idea what is appropriate for occassions.
Post # 9
@figgnewton: Won’t be purchasing a new outfit thank god. Darling Husband owns a tux and I have formal dresses but I think we won’t end up wearing either. It’s just too ridiculous. I think we’ll meet her half way with Darling Husband in a suit, (easy for guys) and me in some sort of knee length cocktail dress. Although I’m at a loss of what kind considering it’s winter, (so dark colors), but in the afternoon, (light colors) and supposedly formal, (luxury fabrics), but really it’s not.
Post # 11
@Meowkers: Hey guess what? She can’t make you wear anything you don’t want to wear…and requesting that her guests break out their evening wear to trudge through a park in broad daylight looking like they just stepped out of Casino Royale for the unique priviledge of shuffling through a buffet line making their own burritos is the height of insanity…tea length dresses and dress shirts with blazers are the order of the day, if she kicks up a fuss say you must have missed that portion of the invitation and resorted to old reliable Emily Post rules, where time of day dictates dress code…after all she’s only been doing it for 100 years!
Post # 10
mm I wear cocktail dresses to regular weddings, so I don’t see the problem with that. Floor-length to a park, however, is completely ridiculous.
Post # 12
Honestly, that would annoy me too – so you are not alone. I think people get a bit confused when it comes to dress code and event status and forget that they conincide. Dress code isn’t exclusive to cloths: it implies a certain type of event (and really should be dictated by the type of event). So if the dress code is black-tie, I expect a black-tie event. If it’s casual, I expect something along the lines of a backyard BBQ.
My guess is the bride just wants to make sure everyone dresses nicely and doesn’t show up in jeans and a t-shirt. So I were you, I’d wear a nice yet simple cocktail dress and my H would wear dress pants, a nice shirt, and tie (he’d probably leave the jacket at home unless it was cold out).
Post # 13
haha I hear you on that one! It sounds like her event is semiformal at best!
Post # 14
@Meowkers: Wait, so she is getting married in a park in the winter and asking her guests to wear evening gowns? That doesn’t even make any sense. You will be dragging your dress through the snow. Plus, you will be wearing dress shoes so your going to freeze.
Post # 15
I think any dress from Forever 21 would be fine. lol. Some look formal, comfortable and inexpensive. But if I was having a formal event, I would go all out and have sit down dinner, wine, A-lister celebrity style. lol. So I know what you mean. I’ll feel like it was a waste to get so dressed up for an event like that.
Post # 16
@turkey22: We’re in California. So the coldest it’ll be is 60 degrees. Maybe 58 if it’s a particularly chilly day. A jacket will definitely be in order but it should be ok.