Post # 1
I need to vent.
Both my sister and I live 3,000 miles away from NY (where the wedding is going to be… in our hometown) and I’m flying-in on Tuesday (she, Wednesday).
I don’t have a wedding planner, so I’m doing everything myself, and I have Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, AND Friday filled with crap I need to do/places I need to go/people I need to contact, before Saturday (the wedding day).
But lately, everything has been about her:
“Will you help me dye my hair?” <br />”We need to go to (A/B/C) so I can get (X/Y/Z).” <br />”You can help me with my makeup on your wedding day, right?”
She’s my older sister, she already had her wedding… shouldn’t SHE be helping ME??
I’m just getting so stressed out from her.
Why is she turning this into a luxury vacation for herself? And I’m supposed to be her chauffeur and drive her around with the rental car I paid for, just so SHE can do stuff?
And then on MY wedding day, I’m supposed to worry about helping with HER makeup??
Post # 2
LadyMoriarty: I would just say, “I’m feel overwhelmed with all the stuff I need to do. If anything, I’d appreciate your support during the week of my wedding.” I’m not sure how rational your sister is, but that’s what I’d say to my sibling.
Post # 3
somethingblue04: Yeah i have a hard time saying no. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I feel crazy over-loaded arleady, and she’s only adding to it.
Post # 4
Maybe it’s just her way of wanting to spend time with you? IDK. Just say no if you don’t feel up to it.
Post # 5
LadyMoriarty: ” Sorry Sis, I love you to death but my agenda is full the week before the wedding.”
Post # 6
- Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN
LadyMoriarty: Maybe she is just not thinking. Some people think about others all the time and some people think about themselves all the time. Just tell her, “I have my own stuff to do. IF I have time after I have done what I need to everyday then I can help you, otherwise you will need to ask someone else.” Doesn’t make you sound like a B*tch at all!
Post # 7
LadyMoriarty: You don’t sound like a meanie AT ALL! Your feelings sound totally valid. Like PP said, I would just tell my sister that I’m pretty tied up with handling the wedding prep and I don’t imagine having lots of free time to do other things. That way you can devote your time to handling business and she can make other arrangements to handle the things she wants/needs to do.
If you do end up with some unexpected free time or if you find yourself wanting/needing a break maybe you can do something fun to relax with your sister.
Post # 8
Agree with PP; just try to explain to her that you’re busy/ have previous business to take care of. If you end up with time to spend with her great, but she might just need to hear it from you. Sometimes people get caught up and don’t think what others might be dealing with. Good luck!
Post # 9
You should say something to her ASAP or else you’re gonna blow like a crazy person on the day of your wedding or right around it. Nip it in the bud now and say something like – I feel like I’m going crazy and getting so overwhelmed with everything I need to do for our wedding. Is there any way you could help me so I don’t lose my mind? So many ppl need so many things from me leading up to the wedding and I could really use some support from you to get thru this w my sanity.
Post # 10
Shkragoldfish: completely agree……
LadyMoriarty: I had a bridesmaid that reminds me of your sister. I would have a pleasant chat with her and try to put an end to this now. I never really put my foot down with my bridesmaid and paid dearly for it all the way through my wedding. I wish I had said something to her to get her on track because maybe the day wedding would have been a little less stressful….
Post # 11
Like PP said, sort this out now, you don’t want your big day spoilt by a big blow out with your sister (I love my sister to death but she can be a little cow and when we are both stressed together it is not good). Just say, although you wish you could help her with all those things, you just won’t have time. Is there a gentle way to remind her how busy she was on her wedding day?