(Closed) a really troubling question.

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

What?! Why?? Is it really different, or is your wedding dress style a bit more unique? If it were me, I’d get my Fiance to ask her to wear another dress. That’s just weird…

Post # 5
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I guess you just have to ask yourself if you can live with it, or if it’s worth fighting with your Future Mother-In-Law over! To me, it sounds different enough that I would just forget it. The attention will be on you and your family (not the MOG) anyway.

Post # 6
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

agreed with rebecca – rouching around the midsection of a formal gown is a really common thing, and since they’re in different colors with different skirts, i’d try not to worry too much about it. do the necklines/sleeves differ in any way?

i don’t suppose you could link to photos to show us how similar they are?  

Post # 7
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

If it bothers you that much, ask your Fiance to have a strong word with her about it. SOme MOGs pull stunts like this to gain more attention on a day that they feel is more about the bride and her family. Not saying that’s the case here, not knowing her, but it could be.

Post # 8
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

keep in mind, the MOG is not really the center of attention.  No one will really notice what she is wearing.

Post # 9
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

If your fmil is wearing the same dress they will notice.  Your fmil seems very rude and selfish to me.  I don’t know what to do; I haven’t had these sorts of problems with my fmil.  I’d talk to her I guess — let her know that this is your day.  Early on I sent my mom and my fmil an email with links to dresses that I liked, planting the seed for the style and colors I would like. 

Post # 10
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Is it actually the same dress?  (same designer, etc?) Otherwise I’d drop it – it sounds similar but not the same.   Orange is not likely to be confused with white. 
Plus you’ll look better in your anyways right?

Post # 12
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

oh wow……i’m not sure what the right answer is to this situation….but to justify your feelings: I’d probably be upset about this as well….

my thinking: yes, your gown has a popular silhouette, but it seems that your fmil knew what your dress looked like and when she came across a dress that was similiar, she didnt not buy it.

i have no idea if her intent was malicious. but it does seem odd.

i’m sorry.

i’m trying to talk my fmil out of buying her dress out of one of those mail order catalogs….you know the random ones you get in the mail? i’m trying to get her to actually step foot in a store and try something on before she buys it bc I know she won’t get alterations. i know its not the same…but at least if she can’t be talked out of it, you know she won’t be wearing some flowery concoction from Chadwicks. 😉

Post # 13
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Everyone will know that it’s  your wedding so they will probably not even pay any attention to her.  I wouldn’t want your Fiance to say anything and start out on the wrong foot.  How is your relationship with her?  If it’s not good, then maybe that was why she choose the dress so similiar to yours. DId she have a wedding of her own?  If she didn’t, then maybe she is sort of living vicariously through yours?

It would help if you can show us all a picture.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you left your bouquet unattended and she might grab it and want pictures of her holding it!   

Post # 14
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I don’t think that strapless with a rouched (sp?) bodice and two different skirts in two wildly different colors are not the same dress. Not even close. Just let it roll off your back. It’s not a big deal I promise. Nobody is going to look at you and say "Hey, isn’t that your dress on your crazy MIL?"

Post # 15
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would be annoyed too.  But it might not be worth fighting over.  Plus, if I were a guest at your wedding and noticed the dress similarities my first though would be that your Future Mother-In-Law was a bit sad for attempting to steal the brides spot light.  I think the biggest thing you would need to worry about is people saying unkind things behind your FMIL’s back!

Post # 16
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I can’t really relate because neither my mom or Future Mother-In-Law would purchase a dress that resembled my dress…so I can’t really imagine how I would feel.  It sounds like an awkward situation and I’m sorry for that. 

I think your feelings about your FMIL’s dress choice probably has to do more about her generally (not just this specific dress incident).  If not …(that is, if she’s a lovely, thoughtful, kind person who just happened to fall in love with a similar style dress, then let it roll off your back like KateMW said).

Don’t let it get you down because it sounds different enough that no one will notice.

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