- 7 months ago
- Wedding: August 2019
I wanted to write this, because I went to a particularly horrible funeral yesterday. It’s put so much of my life, and my interactions with people in perspective, I just wanted to share it with you as well.
My best friend from childhood took her life a few weeks ago – she was 29. She had a wonderful family, three beautiful kids, the oldest of which (7) was the one to find her.
What’s most horrible about this, is that none of us knew she was struggling. No one. She kept her cards so close to her chest, eventually she couldn’t hold them anymore.
I want to spread the message of peace and love, i guess. If someone is out there, experiencing an inner turmoil and maybe doesn’t want to burden others, or think just talking about it is too hard, that there are avenues you can take. Honesty is not a weakness, it is a strength, and too often we forget. Even an online forum, providing a safe and sane voice to maybe help talk you off the ledge. I know sometimes we tend to judge more harshly online, and perhaps say things in a manner we wouldn’t normally say in person. I guess this is a reminder to be kind.
And if you are struggling, please never, ever think you are alone in this, or that the earth would be a better place without you. Because I can tell you no matter who you are, you mean the world to someone, and without you the light goes out. There is life after loss, but what kind of life is it? What kind of life will those three kids have?
Reach out to friends you haven’t spoken to in years, because I don’t wish the regret I feel now on anyone. Maybe you’ll be catching them at a time they most need it. Maybe a bit of nostalgia is exactly what will help provide a new perspective. A like or comment on a photo on Facebook is a hollow imitation of genuine contact and you should be wary of treating it anything but as such. Regret and guilt is a beast that keeps growing even when you don’t feed it.
If this post is a violation of TOS (because it’s not really saying much), I understand if it’s closed. But at least on this forum there will exist a mark I left about the goodness of being kind to each other, and never assuming someone’s struggle, just because you can’t see it.