A rude friend- and the problems of being overly sensitive

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
14899 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@chocolatecoveredstrawberry:  Here’s what my though process probably would have been.  Is he being a jackass?  Yes, well f*#k him.  Do I really give a shit what this jack ass things?  No, f$#( him.  And continue to enjoy yourself.  He may think he’s funny or just enjoys picking on people.  If it’s 1, screw it, brush him off and move on to more important things.  If its 2, face him head on and shut him up, and he will be less likely to do it.  “It is still a crap beer, and people who drink a lot know that.”  Response?  “Really?  Who died and crowned you king of beer?” … “Oh so you speak for ALL people who drink now?”… And then just drop it and ignore him, talk to someone esle.  When someone is attacking you, you have to take yourself out of the picture and not defend your stance with examples about yourself.  Turn it back on them when they make stupid generalized statements.

 

Post # 33
Member
1456 posts
Bumble bee

@chocolatecoveredstrawberry:  ((HUGS))   Until I learned about HSP, just like you it was SO painful being around people who were “careless” with other people’s feelings.  Uuuggghhhh I used to really HATE it whenever people would say, “Why do you let things get to you so much?  You need to be more assertive and not let other people hurt you so much.”  It is almost impossible to block that stuff out being an HSP.

Just know that it’s because of your sensitivity, that you are actually gifted in being able to see and detect things that the other 80% of the world population do not perceive at all.  Elaine Aron talks about how back when we were more primitive, genetically the world needed people like us so that we can warn others of imminent danger, if something was “off” and need caution HSPs are far more capable of reading the red flags way ahead of time, and also HSPs make great advisors, counselors, and teachers.

Absolutely, check her book out.  It made me feel so much better to know that I wasn’t “crazy” or that something was “wrong” with me at the fact that I felt so much more than the people around me.  Just know that it’s not because you have a “problem” or that you’re psychologically weaker compared to other people.  As HSPs our nervous system are more sensitive and react more to stimulation vs. the average jane.

Also, in her book she talks about how you can use your unique gift as an HSP to live the best life you can (being an HSP you truly are SPECIAL and very gifted because of your sensitivity), and gives great advice of how to take care of yourself — which is awesome esp since 98% of the “advice” that’s out there do not apply to us.

Don’t worry, there’s more of us out there than you know!  You are so not alone 😉

Post # 34
Member
47176 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@chocolatecoveredstrawberry:  I do think your responses are affected by your sensitivity. I, in no way criticized your education, but I guess that’s how someone as sensitive as you may interpret things.

Just because I am surprised that you never heard of assertiveness training, doesn’t mean that I think you had a poor quality education or that you are an idiot. I could be surprised even shocked  that someone is blonde or Romanian. It doesn’t reflect negatively on them. It’s just a statement of my surprise.

I certainly do agree that you are overly sensitive.

Post # 35
Member
47176 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Too late to edit my last response but make that last sentence “I certainly agree that you are a highly sensitive person.” I really don’t want to offend you again.

Post # 36
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

[Post moderated for snark]

Post # 39
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@chocolatecoveredstrawberry:  I just tell it like it is. I said what lots of people were thinking. Sometimes the best way to get over being so sensitive is for someone to tell you about yourself. Don’t waste your tears on that…

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