(Closed) A sensitive question for the gay community…

posted 6 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 3
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

You’re right. “Choosing” to be gay is a MYTH that has been paraded around by anti-gay advocates for decades. Often they try to purport that you can “cure” gayness through a “personal relationship with Jesus Christ”. It’s complete crap.

Medical science has demonstrated that being gay/straight/etc. has a genetic component. And any GLBT person out there will tell you that they did not “choose” to be attracted to someone of the same sex, especially since doing so does nothing but garner hatred towards them.

Post # 5
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

With all of the terrible things that the LGBTQ community has to endure, why would anyone CHOOSE it? I didn’t choose to be straight. I just happen to be attracted to the opposite sex. 

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

as a side note, why would anyone choose to be gay??

i mean a life of discrimination, being judged and having to fight for the basic rights that are given freely to murders and scum of the earth doesnt sound like an easy “choice” to make with your life

Post # 6
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am heterosexual, however, I believe that you don’t choose who you are attracted to, you choose who you have relationships with.

That applies to any sexuality. So no, you don’t choose to be gay, but you can choose what sexuality you identify as.

Post # 7
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I was taught that it was not a choice (I say taught because I studied it in my Psyc Undergrad.) Like PP said, it’s something that non-LGBT people like to say to make it seem that way. I do think experimentation is a choice, but that isn’t what I think “D” was saying at all. I also called and asked my step-brother (I read him your question; he’s in a committed same-sex relationship) and he said for sure not a choice.

Post # 8
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Take The Reins:  Think of it this way: Did you choose to be attracted to men (I’m assuming you’re a woman and you are straight)? Your answer is probably no. You just are. It’s the same thing. 

 

Post # 9
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Take The Reins:  Having multiple friends and family members who are gay, I’ve heard the “it’s a choice” theory multiple times. In every single situation, the person saying it was in some way a homophobe. I’m not saying that everyone with that theory is, but in my experience it seems about right.

Post # 10
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

I always thought it was biological too. However, there was a bit of an uproar when just last week, Cynthia Nixon (one of the SATC ladies) said she chose to be gay. It’s been a bit of a roller coaster in the LGBT community, lots of different opinions.

Post # 11
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s interesting to see this discussion now after reading this opinion article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/29/opinion/sunday/bruni-gay-wont-go-away-genetic-or-not.html

It’s an interesting argument–so what if it *is* a choice for some people? I am not denying the genetic component, but there does seem to be a judgement by some that it’s OK if it’s biological but not OK if it’s a choice, and that logic doesn’t fly with me.

Edited to add: Oops, PP beat me to it!

Post # 12
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

As a bisexual woman, I’d like to weigh in here.

Our sexual orientation is not a choice. We may think we ‘choose’ who we are attracted to, but that is determined by so many things. As I hit puberty I found myself attracted to both girls and boys. My attraction was based on their personality, looks, etc.

I didn’t really know about lesbians until my late teens (it was the ’90’s, gay men were much more visible in Pop culture). I realized I was bi at 22, and acted on it as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

I still continued to have long term relationships with men, I couldn’t seem to find a woman who wanted more than just a one night stand with me.

When I met my current Fiance, everything changed. I decided to leave my common-law husband because I wanted to be with HER, not because I wanted to be in a lesbian relationship. I still dont’ identify as a lesbian, because I’m still attracted to some men, and if for some reason our relationship ends, I cannot say for sure that I wouldn’t have a future relationship with a man.

However, I am happier than I’ve ever been and finally with her I know what true companionship feels like. I am so excited to get married and start a family- things that terrified me before. Did I choose to be gay? no. I chose to be with HER.

Post # 13
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@bRooklynRocks:  well yes, bi-curious women can CHOOSE to experiement. I know all about that, first hand. 😉

Post # 14
Member
3947 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@eloping:   just for future reference, I think that some people in the gay community might be offended by your question.

Post # 15
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@bRooklynRocks:  I suspect that she is either bisexual, or actually was gay all along & was “in the closet” at first and didn’t realize it. Though I do agree with @Frog E. that it shouldn’t matter whether people “choose” to be gay or not, I also feel that the bulk of the evidence (outside of this anecdote) indicates that it is genetically-linked.

(Not trying to get into a battle, here, but just saying that I am disinclined to believe one of the Sex and the City cast members over peer-reviewed medical journals.)

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