(Closed) A shout-out to excellent Future In-Laws

posted 12 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: How are your in-laws?

    They're wonderful - like my own family.

    They're wonderful - better than my own famiy.

    They're nice enough.

    They're okay/tolerable.

    We have some issues, but I see a light at the end of the tunnel.

    We have some issues, and I think we always will.

    They're not very nice people - really hard to deal with.

    They don't approve of their son/daughter marrying me.

    They are awful. We've stopped speaking to them.

  • Post # 17
    Member
    14 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Mr. Zee actually proposed to me before ever introducing me to his parents, and only four months after we started dating.

    I know they had their doubts at the beginning, but they both put those aside and welcomed me anyway, and almost nine months into the engagement I can say that they have treated me like their own daughter. I’m not as close to them as I am with my own parents, but I have a really great relationship with my parents and I’ve known them for my whole life. I think in time I’ll be just as close to Mr. Zee’s.

    In addition to that, his brother and sister have become two of my best friends. It is pretty much ideal. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    80 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2009

    You guys are so lucky. 🙁 I can’t stand my inlaws. They showed no interest in me when we were dating and after 3 1/2 years I bet they probably couldn’t even tell you where I work or what I do. During the wedding planning process they showed zero interest in the wedding except for disapproval. Now that we’re married the insist I call them mom and pops but I can’t even bring myself to that. They ignore me when we visit but complain when we don’t come over enough. It’s awful when we go over and ruins my whole day. I could go on for hours about the stories and horrors, I’ll just leave it at I’m supremely jealous of all of you with good in laws!!!

    Post # 20
    Member
    13 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I love my Father-In-Law…I think I like hanging out with them more than my own family…they are so generous, they are paying for our photographer and our honeymoon, and I’m sure that  wont be all they pay for because our wedding is almost 2 years away…I love them so much, my family gets jealous that we do so much with them. My Future Mother-In-Law and I are really close, closer than me and my own mother are. I have never gotten along with my own mother. I just love them…

    Post # 21
    Member
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I love my FIL’s! They are the nicest, sweetest people. And not just the immediate family either. The extended family-aunts, uncles, cousins are great too! Most of my family is at least 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours away but all of my futire in-laws are pretty close by so it makes it nice to have some family nearby.

    Post # 22
    Member
    468 posts
    Helper bee

    My Father-In-Law situation is interesting. When the Mr. & I first started dating they loved me. Thought I was great. However about 13 months into our relationship we got engaged. And they freaked out. The Mr.’s mom just kept going on and on about how her son was leaving her. The Mr. even told me about some very heated arguements between his parents and himself. At one point, my Future Mother-In-Law stated she didn’t want anything to do with the wedding. Which really upset me.

     The Mr. thinks that his mom is coming around, and myself & the Future In-Laws are able to be polite to  each other. The Mr’s mom is begining to get a bit more interested in wedding stuff, so I guess we shall see. I would like to have a realtionship with her, but I guess time will tell. 

     

     My mom has a similar situation with her Mother-In-Law, and said that it only took 30 yrs for my  dad’s mom to really warm up to her. She suggests just giving it time. 

     

    Post # 23
    Member
    5988 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    my Father-In-Law & Mother-In-Law are good honest hard working people and they raised a wonderful son that they are proud of… but thats the limit of my emotions towards them.

    i respect them as my husbands parents but thats about it – we have zero in common, im not a extended family type of person and my independence freaks her out… alot

    but they are both good people

    Post # 24
    Member
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I have some issues with my fiance’s parents. Not as many as he does with them, just a couple nagging things. His mother is very controlling…it doesn’t usually get to me, but a couple times it has just either made my fiance an emotional wreck (when she told him he couldn’t see me without a chaperone a few months into dating because the visiting pastor had told her that teenagers basically have no self control and that I’d end up pregnant — we weren’t even having sex yet) or just infuriated me (just recently she would NOT allow my fiance to switch banks, because she has some vendetta against the bank he was going to switch to; it’s also MY bank, and she told him that I should switch to THEIR bank, which my fiance hates).

    BUT. They are fairly nice people. His mom is for the most part really nice, and his dad is hardly ever there (but is pretty nice when he is). =) So, while we DO have issues, it’s nothing that I can’t handle. However, I don’t see those issues going away any time soon. But I also don’t see them affecting our life/wedding too much. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    820 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I selected other because if it were an option, I would have selected "They’re wonderful- not quite my like my own family, but almost." I definitely got really lucky by how they have welcomed me into their family with open arms. I feel really comfortable with them, and they’re both great. The extended family is awesome as well. Thank the lord- I’ve heard some horror stories, that’s for sure! My only qualm is that they baby my fi (who is 32) and try to do so much for him. I can’t wait to move at least a half hour away from them so we have a bit more independence. 

    All in all though they are fabulous! I’m sorry to anyone who doesn’t have good in-laws 🙁  

    Post # 26
    Member
    3315 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    My former mother-in-law died a few days ago, and my former father-in-law is currently in hospice care.  I am incredibly saddened by this.  Even when my ex-husband and I divorced, my mother-in-law took me aside and said, "You’ve been our daughter for 20 years, and as far as I’m concerned, you still are."  When she got Alzheimer’s, I went on visiting her for as long as she continued to recognize me in any way.  Long after she forgot my name and my relationship to her (she told people I was her older sister, which was pretty funny, given that she was over 80 at the time!), she would still brighten up when I came to visit.  My own family was incredibly dysfunctional (to put it mildly!), and my in-laws were the good parents I never had.  My ex still jokes that somehow, I managed to get his parents and he got mine in the divorce.

    So, if you’ve got great in-laws, appreciate them!

    Post # 27
    Member
    999 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2010 - Mr. P's Grandparents’ Ranch

     @2dBride: I am so sorry!! hugs to you

     I feel extremely blessed by my future-in-law’s, they have being so supportive and welcoming with me 

    Post # 28
    Member
    231 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I voted that they were like my own family, but the truth is that sometimes they’re better! 😛  I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have such a great future family.  It’s nice to see that others feel the same way!

    Post # 29
    Member
    274 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Okay, I’m sure some of you have read where I’ve stated that FI’s parents are divorced; his mom ("Freda") remarried. FI was about 13 maybe; He and his step-dad both wanted to be man of the house, and they butt heads. Fiance moved out at the age of 16, and moved in with his mom’s sister (we’ll call her Wilma). FI’s little sister followed soon after. Wilma and her husband took on raising Fiance and his sister. (you could watch home videos and tell who the "parents" are.) Wilma and her DH are pretty much "mom & dad"

    When Fiance and I first started dating, I hadn’t seen much of Wilma. She worked 3pm – 11pm. I would be gone before she got home. I would always be me, Fiance, his sister, and his uncle at the house. I grew to just love his uncle. And I love his sister. When his aunt finally started working days, I felt as if she hated me. Resented me because I was taking her "little boy" away. (Wilma and her husband have no kids together) She acted like I was just "a fling" and that he would be over me soon. It continued to get worse. When he would get ready to come pick me up to go out, she’d fuss and try to find something for him to do. Rain or shine! He finally got fed up and decided to move out (like 500 yards away!) She felt bad, and talked to him before he moved. She said that she did like me, but she felt that I hated her. She tried to explain to him that when he’s on his own, that bills come first and that we wouldn’t be able to afford to go out as much. He told her "She’s not that type of girl. She don’t care much for material things. And you won’t keep her away from me." (And I don’t; I’m just as happy doing stuff at the house, as long as I’m with him) I think she understood then that I wasn’t just "some girlfriend".

    It really was getting to me. Wilma and I would butt heads without even trying. And though we never said much to each other, the tension was there. I would get so upset and cry about it, because I really wanted her to like me, and I would try so hard! But it was after Fiance moved out (again only 500 feet away) Did the two of us start getting along much better. It was more of a mis-understanding between the two of us. And since Fiance and I got engaged last December, it’s been even better between me and her.

    And as for his Mom and step-dad, they all get along now. Fiance tries to take one or two days a week to spend time with his step-dad. They are big buddies now. And the two of them have always adored me. And they aren’t even around me that much. But FI’s daddy….I can’t bring myself to be anything with him. He’s what we call a major "burn out". He missed his own daughter’s graduation this year because he was worried about the money that he wont get back from the child support that Wilma got from him (he signed over everything to FI’s aunt and uncle.

    But as of right now, FI’s aunt and uncle will be my mother & father in law. His mother will be my mother in law too, but I don’t have a bond with her. Wilma & her DH already refer to me their daughter-n-law! And I love them.

     

    I’m done rambling! LOL!

    Post # 30
    Member
    3124 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    I’m so thankful for my FILs!  I genuinely enjoy spending time with them and wish we could see them more! 🙂

    Post # 31
    Member
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2009 - Bernardo Winery

    Mine are great, but I wouldn’t trade them for my own family 😉
    There are things I don’t like about them, but from other experiences I heard from friends, mine are GREAT comparabley 🙂

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