(Closed) A silly fight. He won’t talk to me.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

He really stood there and asked “who?” over and over again? Is he 12? I mean, you could have told your mom to hold on for a second or mouthed “my mom”, but holy crap what a reaction from him. Does he throw fits like this often? He sounds like he needs to grow up.

 

Post # 4
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It sounds to me like you’re facing one of those etiquette clashes that come up from time to time in any relationship. You think your priority is to the person on the phone. He seems to think it should be to the person in the room. It’s no big deal – if you discuss why you each think the way you do. What would piss me off would be the calling you secretive because you didn’t immediately tell him what he wanted to know and the sulking. Both are passive aggressive and very childish. You need to find a way to discuss why you did what you did without taking a “it’s just right” line. He needs to stop acting like an insecure child. But of course, telling him that is unlikely to help matters. Very annoying behaviour, though!

Post # 5
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Ugh another case of man-stration. Must be his time of the month.

Post # 6
Member
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@metalbride:  I ask my Darling Husband who’s he’s on the phone with and he does the same to me and we mouth it to each other.  I don’t see what the big deal is? While I don’t think he should have stood there and asked you over and over I think you should have just told him, it’s not a big deal, I think you made the situation worse by shooing him off and ignoring his question. 

Post # 7
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

While I agree with some of the previous responses that it wouldnt have been a big deal to tell him, this part

When I refuse to interrupt my conversation, he stands right next to me and starts repeating “who” over and over again until I can’t focus on my conversation.

 

would have made me react the way you did probably.  i mean..really??

Post # 8
Member
902 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Wow he sounds like a 5 year old

It’s very rude to be like that while someone is on the phone unless it is an emergency.  I rarely talk on the phone, not a big fan of it, but when I do my fiance usually knows who it is by what I’m talking about haha

But he would never act like that nor would I with him because he has customers that call him constantly all hours of the morning/day/evening (he’s an insurance agent, they call him to let him know about sales and payments and whatnot).

Very childish..

Is there any reason why he distrust you or thinks that youre hiding something?  He seems abit insecure as well

Post # 9
Member
3763 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

He definitely behaved like a child, but I don’t see what’s so difficult about mouthing who it is to him. I ask my Fiance who he’s talking to if he’s on the phone, not to be nosy but just out of curiosity, and he mouths it to me. I do the same to him, or drop their name into the conversation (i.e. “that’s funny, mom).  Although it doesn’t excuse his behavior!!

Post # 10
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MrsPom:  Darling Husband and I do the same thing. It doesn;t detract from the conversation you are having and it settles any possible problems. Occasionally one of us will have a message for hte person on the phone and we tell them we need to say something. We then ask the person to hold on one moment and relay the messsage. 

I don’t see why this became such a big deal. Is it possible there are some other things going on between you that would cause this kind of reaction?

Post # 12
Member
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Another one to chime in here and say he behaved like a child.  Correction, he’s STILL behaving like a child by not speaking to you.  My ex-husband used to do this to me.  He was a control freak.

Post # 13
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I seldom ask my Fiance who he’s talking to. He’s seldom on the phone and I can usually tell who it is if I’m interested. On the other hand, he almost always asks who I’m talking to, or who WAS I talking to. At first it really irked me – none of his business in my mind. Then I realized he was just being curious. Sometimes I mouth it and other times I excuse myself from the conversation by saying, “___needs to know who I’m speaking with this instant (insert fictional man’s name), so let me make something up so he’ll leave me alone.” Then we laugh about it. I wouldn’t tolerate someone demanding to know who I was talking to.

Post # 14
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Is he a jealous person? My first thought when I read your post was perhaps he was concerned about who you were talking to (maybe he thought it was another guy?).  He handled it like a 5 year old but it seemed like he was acting jealous. 

 

Post # 15
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

“It’s not a trust issue for him, it’s a barrier issue. He thinks that as a couple, we must do everything together and share everything, (unless it’s housework, which I get all to myself).”

Have you guys done any pre-marital counseling or just talked in general about how to find a common ground/ compromise about this? Did he say that or is it what you can surmise from the situation? While the phone was a silly childish thing, this could extend into many other areas and it is a really sensitive thing involving privacy, space and trust.

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