(Closed) A small bomb was dropped…now we are at a crossroads!

posted 3 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 46
Member
733 posts
Busy bee

A quick Google search tells me that are are some stunning churches in St Augustine. I bet they have air conditioning.

Post # 47
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Have the wedding in Fall, as planned, and save 100+ people the agony of having to die in the heat and humidity because of one person’s schedule. Just say ‘sorry’ to the brother – but if he can’t make the Fall wedding, and you insist on having it outdoors, then you’ll have to just send him some photos of the wedding that he’ll be missing. 

Post # 49
Member
380 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018- Stan Hywet Gardens

Nope. Nope. Nope. That would be torture! 

Is the ceremony + reception outside?

Post # 50
Member
2251 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m sorry, but I would not change the wedding date to accommodate one person. There are always people who can or can’t make it to the wedding. I guarantee that you are going to regret having your wedding in August just to please your Future Brother-In-Law, and may become resentful of him. Don’t do it! He needs to make more of an effort to be there and arrange a visit. He has more than a year time to plan in advance. 

Post # 51
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Just for reference, I got married in St. Augustine on March 31 of this year. The high was 80 degrees that day, but we had our ceremony on a sailboat at 6:00 pm so it was very lovely, even cool as the sun went down. As a life long Florida resident, August sucks as far as temperature (as do most months). It is truly awful. However, if you just do an outdoor ceremony, can you do it closer to evening time? When the sun is low, it’s not quite as bad. There’s also a rooftop venue in St. Augustine – with both indoor/outdoor space White Room Rooftop. I eloped, but had I had a bigger wedding, I would have loved this venue. Views of the water, breezes, etc., and a place to escape to if it gets too hot.

Best of luck in your decision. 

Post # 52
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

What about choosing a different venue that has huge windows with a gorgeous view?? It’s doesn’t replace being outside, but you can still take photos outside or on the beach.

Post # 53
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

It sucks but I honestly wouldn’t change it because one person can’t make it. Yes he is an important person, but still you would have to chenge your entire vision for you wedding to accommodate him and that is asking a lot of you. I don’t think he would want that, since it would be pretty selfish to ask you to do that. Have the wedding you want and celebrate with him another time. 

Post # 54
Member
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

milabeehappy :  

I guess I am wired differently because if my sister could not make my wedding I would absolutely change the date to accomodate her. She is as important as my parents and I can’t imagine getting married without her as my Maid/Matron of Honor. If my Fiance felt the same way about his brother, I would also move my wedding day to make him happy.

Random guests, friends, distant aunts and uncles – different story but a close sibiling is very high in my priority list so I absolutely feel your pain.

Did you guys consider doing it state over? Or doing ceremony outside (people can suck it up for one hour or not show for ceremony) and then reception inside?

Post # 56
Member
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

milabeehappy :  Yeah, I would definitely do everything I could to make sure his brother is there. I think that outdoor ceremony and inside reception is pretty good compromise but I am not sure what you envisioned for your big day.

I am keeping fingers crossed and hoping everything will work out!

Post # 57
Member
854 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

August in Florida is extremely hot, humid and buggy! Your mother is right! I live 2 states north of there and don’t even like to attend outdoor events here in August. (Good grief, today is 90 and with the humidity, the heat index is 102). If you go ahead with an outdoor ceremony in August in Florida, I would expect several declined invitations. I agree with your chosen date in October- it would be much more comfortable plus it would be less expensive for your guests who are traveling to fly and stay.

Post # 58
Member
5071 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

October 2017 is more than a years notice.  I don’t think I would plan my wedding day around one individual that is outside of the wedding party.

Post # 59
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2016

If you’re dead set on FL you could probably do something extremely early in the morning or late, dusk/nighttime.  And maybe have the ceremony outside but the reception inside.  As an aside though, I think a more autumny theme would be a bit incongrous in FL anyway, so you’re probably better off!  You can still use more warm colors, your oranges, reds, yellows in a summery theme but still get that transition into fall. I’m getting married Labor day and we have a similar theme that incorporates a lot of that but then a few more summery colors like dark teal.

Post # 60
Member
3210 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

j9marie :  the Fiance and brother are very close, I would not assume he isn’t part of the wedding party. 

I’m actually a little shocked by so many people saying not to try and accommodate the brother. It’s not a friend or a distant cousin – it’s the groom’s close sibling. I thought it was pretty common etiquette to check for availability with VIPs. 

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