(Closed) a small person's vent

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I would never give up my seat for an obese person. I’m such a bitch haha.

I will always give it to someone who is obviously pregnant. If they can’t tell if youre pregnant, I can see why they won’t. If you’ve ever been in a situation where someone THINKS you’re preg and youre NOT its super uncomfortable.

I do feel you on the airport seats though. I am PAYING for this space. GTFO and stay in your space. I don’t like moving seats either, but I rarely travel alone. I would not willingly take a middle seat. I’ve had this happen – I’m seated near the front of the plane in an aisle seat. The middle seat asks if I would mind switching spots with her boyfriend so they can sit together. He is seated in the very back in a middle seat. Thats a NOPE. If you want to upgrade my seat (ie switch from a middle to an aisle, or back of plane to front of plane) then I will consider it. But just becasue you didn’t want to pay to pick your seat, or arrive early enough to get seats together, not my problem.

Post # 17
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

As another small person, I totally get it. Especially the chipotle thing. I’m paying the same price and yet you give me half of what the big dude next me got for the same price. No whimpy half scoops of rice! This girl wants to eat! If I wanted a smaller portion, I would tell you! 

The biggest concessions that I end up making are for the tall people in my life. Ex. I prefer the aisle seat, but my fiancé is 6’3″ so I give it to him. Or I’ll sit in the back of the car so he can have the leg room up front. But my biggest trick to overcoming this is to just drive the car myself. That way when I drive my seat is scooted up for my height which creates a new tall person spot in the back behind me. That way, I’m not squished and they’ve got leg room. But thankfully, my fiancé and his family don’t force this on me. I usually just offer out of convenience for myself. 

ps. My immediate family has always been obese and you can guess who always got picked to ride in the back in the middle. Me. Honestly, I think that’s where my love of being the driver rather than the passenger comes from — not wanted to be squeezed in the back. 

Post # 18
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Ask someone. “I’m sorry, I’m very pregnant, would you mind if I sat?” I live in Boston and people do not like to give up their seat on the T for anyone. I of course offer my seat if someone is clearly pregnant but also there was a time when I offered my seat thinkinga woman was pregnant and she looked so offened, because she was not. Yikes!

Post # 19
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

As an obese person, it isn’t exactly a cake walk on my side either.  It is humiliating for me whenever adjustments have to be made to accommodate my size.  It’s easy to say “just lose weight and you won’t have to deal with it anymore!” and VERY difficult to do when you’ve been fat for the last 25 years and are on the wrong side of genetics.

As far as your pet peeves, I would never ask anyone to give up a seat for me on public transport and if someone offers, unless I’m in severe pain, I will say no.  

In terms of backseats in cars, I’m sorry but it’s just logistics.  Me and my size 22 hips physically need more space.  On air planes, I always book myself for a window seat, and no I am not moving unless you can give me a legitimate reason to do so.  I haven’t encounted one yet, though I have had someone sit in my seat for some unknown reason…  I’m pretty sure my husband and I are going to book three seats on our flight to our second honeymoon to spare ourselves the humiliation of trying to cram into 16″ wide seats.  

FWIW, I have never gotten extra food just because I’m fat unless I specifically asked for it.  I have gotten disgusted looks from waiters and other patrons if I order something remotely fattening though, as if my diet should consist of water and celery sticks until I am down to an acceptable weight.  

Post # 20
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’ve never seen somebody give up their seat on the subway for an obese person. I’m sorry, you seem to be having a bad day, but I simply don’t believe that you are frequently seeing people give up seats for obese people. I also don’t buy the Chipotle thing. 

You seem to have some misdirected anger. 

Post # 21
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Ive never seen anyone give up a seat for an obese person. And I highly doubt Chipotle workers give you less food just because you’re thin. 

If you need to sit, ask someone. Say “I’m 7 months pregnant, is there any way I could sit down?”. Say no when people ask to switch. If you dont want to sit in the middle, offer to drive or take your own car.

Post # 22
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve never seen anyone give up a seat either. And as for the food thing… are you sure the dude didn’t pay for extra? 

And there are many obese people out there who are that way because of health issues. I have  4 in my family, that are on tons of medicine trying to regulate the issues they’re having, and a side effect is not being able to loose weight. They try constantly, but no matter what they do, they can’t drop it. They go to doctor after after doctor, and try all kinds of things, and it doesn’t work. So it’s not like they’re not trying… it just isn’t in the cards for them. On that note, I’ve never seen anyone give up anything for them… they just make do. 

Post # 23
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: South Lodge. 2nd of Dec 2017

cherryberrypie:  you always let the seriously overweight person sit down,  because if they fall over boy that will hurt others more.  😉 Why do you sit in the back in the middle beacause you fit,

planes at 5ft 9 and overweight although I have not been obese for many years, the planes are hell the extra couple of inches you get on a aisle or a window are so much more than just comfort, the difference between moving and squashed.

the short answer is nobody likes to be embarressed by what they are and you know really overweight people have so many issues already, cut them some slack.  Enbrace your cute littleness, If your pregnant and need the seat ask for it, I would happily move my fat arse for you.

Post # 24
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I feel like an asshole because I always get the primo seat because I’m so tall and people apparently feel guilty watching me fold up into the backseat so it’s shot gun forever for me.

Post # 25
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

cherryberrypie:  Ahh NYC subways… I get your frustration!!  Only not so much with obese people.  More anyone who wears a suit and (tries to) shove me out of the way or crush me into the pole.  Yea, I don’t wear a suit because I work at an animal shelter and don’t want to ruin my clothes.

Point is, people make tons of snap judgements when figuring out where to stand on the freaking subway, and yea, all the judgements and stereotypes probably come into play.  I’m avg height (5’7″), but when there is a small person in front of my I do my damndest to not squish them.  First, because no squishing on the subway! Especially in the summer or on rainy days! and second, people breath downwards, and I’ve seen shorter people’s hair move whilst taller people breath above them.  Just… No..

As for the pregnant part, I typically give up my seat fr anyone noticeable pregnant or with kids, or with an injury, and I see if happen frequently.  Unfortunately, about 20 lb ago a teenager tried to give me his seat on the subwayy because he thought I was pregnant (he told me).  Yea, nope, wasn’t pregnant..

Thanks for letting me vent about the nyc subway, even though I’m not small

Post # 27
Member
14969 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

cherryberrypie:  Because of my small size, I have not been able to enjoy the pregnancy card. any advice on how to deal with that?

Pregnancy isn’t exactly some badge of honor that needs to come with perks so I’m not sure what “pregnancy card” you want to play.  Be thankful that you have been blessed with your child and move on without trying to take advantage of it?  If you’re truely tired and actually NEED a seat, then speak up and I’m sure more than likely some kind stranger would give up a seat.

Post # 28
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

pinkshoes:  YES! You hit the nail on the head. I’m pregnant and generally have no problem standing. Why do I need to sit just because I’m pregnant? If I feel fine and I’m capable of standing, I will. OP-if you’re truly in pain or exhausted, ask someone if you may have their seat. Otherwise stand if you are able. My mother is 70 and people don’t offer her a seat. She doesn’t use the “elderly card.” This sense of entitlement is too much.

The topic ‘a small person's vent’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors