(Closed) “A son’s a son until he takes a wife”

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: "A son's a son until he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter all of her life."
    Agree : (32 votes)
    28 %
    Disagree : (77 votes)
    68 %
    Other : (5 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2548 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I don’t really know how to interpret that quote. But with my inlaws, my husband is very much still a son to his mother. He helps her with alot, and tries to include her in our lives alot. She helps us alot too, so it’s very symbiotic relationship. Although most of our family is like this anyways. Meaning, I am still a daughter to my mom as well, and we too have a very give and take type of relationship.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    My Mother-In-Law DEFINTELY believes this. During our wedding she kept crying or venting to my mother about how she’s “lost her son”. Needless to say, my mom is not fond of my Mother-In-Law.

    My Darling Husband is such a mama’s boy though, so I don’t think anything has changed with his relationship with his mother. It does bother me though because I wish he’d cut the cord already.

    Post # 5
    Member
    494 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I hate that saying.  My brothers are still sons despite being married for years now and starting families of their own.  To be honest I just don’t understand that saying at all.  

    Post # 6
    Member
    3776 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2004

    Honestly, it depends on whether the “son” has a bitch for a mother.  If she is a decent human being, he is a son for life.  Hellhound=till he takes a wife.

    Post # 7
    Hostess
    16213 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    We’ve stayed close with both sets of parents since getting married.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Sadly, I am very bitter towards my parents…. I have actually lost all respect for them before their divorce (which for me was a long time coming). So, a daughter for life does not apply in my situation.

    Mother-In-Law is the queen bee of her family and her sons are always seeking her advice. They respect her very much and that hasn’t changed after I married one of them. If anything she took me in as one of her own.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1425 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    In my FI’s case, this doesn’t apply. His Mom passed away a year ago, but even prior he wasn’t close with his parents to fulfill that quote. When he turned 18, his Dad said that he’s really no longer their son, but another family member in their lives (FFIL said the same thing to Future Brother-In-Law when he turned 18). So, Fiance is “son” in name only, not really in its fullest capacity, though.

    For myself, how the quote applies to me is tricky, as well. I became the caregiver to my parents when I was 16, so our daughter/parent relationship really changed and I became the parent to them. Yes, I’m still their daughter and go to them for advice, call them “Mom and Dad,” but it’s difficult to establish our relationship given how much the lines have blurred.

    Post # 10
    Member
    635 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    It goes with the bible verse about the man leaving his family and cleaving to his wife. Never mentions the woman doing the same thing. I am pretty sure it means he is to become the head of his household and not still be under his parents rule anymore.

    Post # 11
    Member
    547 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    My son will be my son forever; nothing takes that away or changes it.  My Darling Husband will almost be his mother’s son, his wife’s husband, my sons step father, and his siblings brother.  Nothing changes he just gained a new family to go with the one he already had just like me. Now we are one BIG family.

    I don’t know it if changes via culture but Italians (well our family of Italians) join families as one the same time he and I joined as one it’s just the way we do it. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    This is weird. Some marriage traditions and adages are sooooooo outdated that they seem silly in the modern context.

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    989 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    That is what happened with my brother and it caused a lot of angst for our mother.  I’m really sensitive to how much it can hurt, so I’ve made sure that we visit and communicate with Future In-Laws as much as my parents.

    ETA: Posted before I saw your clarification about meddling.  That’s not what I thought the saying meant.  In my brother’s case, it felt to most of us like he left our family and joined hers, for a variety of reasons.

    Post # 15
    Member
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I don’t see what’s so offensive about this quote. It is what it is. There’s truth to it. 

    The topic ‘“A son’s a son until he takes a wife”’ is closed to new replies.

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