(Closed) A sticky plus-one situation

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I bet you he doesn’t come. We had the same situation and the cousins nor their guests attended.  If you’re worried could you ask him directly? And leave your Aunt out of it? 

Post # 4
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Call auntie and explain that due to space restrictions, cousin doesn’t get to bring his g/f.  (If you wanted to, you could mention the “no guest unless engaged/married” but I’d leave off the “living together” since they might lie about that….)

Post # 5
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

call and explain.  you can’t change your rules for this one person because they were rude.  you made a rule and you have to stick with it.

Post # 6
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would ignore it until you start getting mroe RSVPs back.  If it does create a snowball effect I would address it with everyone.  Being that you don’t think he’ll come anyway,  I wouldn’t worry about it right now.

Post # 8
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If an invite does not say ‘plus one’ or ‘and guest’ WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS OMG.

Call your cousin first and tell him. He might not even be aware that his mother filled it out and sent it back. If he is oblivious and does not care if gf comes or not, then you don’t have to go any further. If he gets upset, just explain to him the ‘engaged/married’ rule. You didn’t know he had a gf, so you never know, they could be living together by now.

Post # 9
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I did the same thing for my younger cousins who were not married/engaged/living together. I know for a fact 2 of my cousins who are in college have long term boyfriends that I have only met once or twice and I am curious to see how they RSVP.

I think contacting your cousin directly is best. He may not even know his mom did this and will tell you himself he’s not coming.

Post # 10
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with Soyjoy- His mom probably filled out the invite and chances are the kid wont even show, so if you give him the +1 you will have 2 no shows (and from what you said a lot of angry family !)

If hes now old enough to get a date he’s old enough to discuss the issue you with you and rsvp on his own. I’d talk to him about it.

Post # 11
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

maybe i am rude but I told all of my cousins that I could not afford for them to have guests but if they absolutely needed to have one that they could pay for their guests ahead before the final count is due and if their date did not show up that they would not get their money back… i dont care that the etiquette is wrong on my part I cannot afford plus ones plain and simple.

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