- 7 years ago
So today we’re walking around in Academy Sports, getting new tennis shoes for the SO and the little one. SO walks over to the golfing section to browse at some clubs just for shits and giggles and swings a few. Then says, “Hey, baby, can I get a new set of drivers?” (Half joking, but also kinda serious. He needs a new set of clubs, his are pretty old, and were used when he got them. Whatevs. But he also didn’t mean actually buy them today, just kind of a general “sometime soon” sort of thing. Anyway…..) Without missing a beat, I said, “Um, no……… Well, wait. Yes, yes you can–as a wedding gift.” (Enter strange look from the SO) “Better yet, as an engagement gift, from me to you. I’ll buy them for you” He scoffs, “Yeah, right.” “No, I’m serious, I will buy them for you—as an engagement gift. Ahem, ahem.” Again, he scoffs and just gives me a funny look.
(Now, for what it’s worth, to my credit, I haven’t been all naggy lately- I haven’t brought up the ‘e’ word, or the ‘m’ word, or the ‘w’ word since November. November, girls! That was the last time we had any type of real convo/discussion/vent session regarding getting married. Aside from one or two [fine, three or four] quick one-liners quipped in passing conversation, I haven’t said a word. Nada. And really, there was no productive convo after this, either, it came and went just like any other subject. But come, July [our 4 year dating anni], it’s time for a serious sit-down. But I digress………)
Enter random dude standing on the other side of my SO, also swingin’ a club or two. “Man, that’s some pressure right there, man, heh-heh-heh. (WTF, dude?!?!) I’m not tryin’ to get in your business or anything, but she sounds like my lady, sayin’ the same things. I’m in the same boat you are man, just wanted to say I feel ya.” SO just kinda nods and agrees and mumbles and laughs through this entire exchange, btw. Me: “Well, it’s comin’ up on four years, not to mention the kiddo, here. (I gesture to our toddler in the buggy) It’s time.” (Questioning expression on my face at this point, like ‘well? what ya got to say to that?’) Dude: “Well, yeah, four years is about right, that’s reasonable. (I like him more now) But it’s only been about a year and a half for us, and she’s rarin’ to go. I’m not.” Me:** “Yeah, a year and a half, that can be kinda soon.”**(Said with a scrunchy sad face, while nodding in agreement) Dude: “Plus, I’m 36, almost 37 and have been married twice before, but she’s only 28, and never been married. So she’s all ready to settle down right now, and I’m not in any hurry.” Me: “Oh, well then. You absolutely have every reason to be gun shy in that case. Good luck.”
It was at this point that the convo just kind of naturally ended itself, and we were going our separate ways in the store, and exchanged “take it easys”, etc etc.
I thought it was interesting to have a stranger weigh in like that and get his perspective, even if he wasn’t particularly helpful, lol.
I knew my waiting ladies would relate, and the first thing I thought afterwards was, “OMG, I can’t wait to get to the Bee and tell the girls!!!” Lol!!
**- I don’t necessarily think that above statement as a sweeping generality. Each sitch is different. For some, a year and a half is waaaaay too soon, but for others, it’s an eternity. (For gun shy dude, that was too soon, given his previous, and obvs failed marriages) When ya know, ya just know, whether it be a few months, or a few years. But for alot of people, a year and a half is kind of soon, by lots of standards. I ‘knew’ about three or four months in, but I knew better than to actually say anything. I didn’t even use words that rhymed with marriage or wedding until after he broached the subject, lol. And even then, I waited until just after the two year mark before actually having “the talk”. Anyway, I thought that was the most prudent kind of thing to say at the moment in the convo with random dude.