(Closed) a stressful registry

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Please don’t be stressed! Try to have fun with your registry. Here are a few of my tips:

1) We’re in an apartment, too, so I feel your pain. One thing that helped me was to remember that we weren’t just registering for the next five years or until whenever we could buy our house. In reality, we were registering for things that were going to (were meant to) last a long time. We registered for a few things knowing we wouldn’t have a place for them in the apartment but would want somewhere down the road. And when we got them, we stuck them in a closet. They’ll be brand new when we finally break them out and use them! πŸ™‚

2) You can absolutely register for big-ticket things. But you probably don’t want to register for only big-ticket things. Guests will appreciate choices. While somes guests won’t have a lot to spend, some may want to spend more. We were very surprised by the generosity of our friends and family.

Also, those big-ticket items are good as group gifts. For example, two sets of my parents friends went in together to get us a nice wine cellar!

3) You can totally register at places online. You can spread through word of mouth or via your wedding website, if you have one. Technically, I guess it’s against the “rules” to tell guests where you’re registered, but you know what? I did it anyway. In our circumstances, it seemed much more helpful than harmful.

Also, are you having any showers? The point of the bridal shower is to shower the bride with presents, so you’ll need to let everyone know then where you are registered, and that will help, too!

Good luck hun!

Post # 5
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Definitely register for some big ticket things if you want them!  Most if not all of my registry gifts were purchased online, so you could absolutely create an online registry at another store (like Macy’s, Crate & Barrel, BB&B, etc) even if there isn’t an actual store close to you!  Let your family know and they will spread the word for you, and people will just ask you where you are registered if they aren’t sure.

I do think guests appreciate having a variety of things to choose from, so think outside of the box with your registry!  One of the first registry gifts we received were the his & her bathrobes that we put on our Macy’s registry on a whim, which I absolutely love πŸ™‚ 

Post # 6
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@mrsaponte: 1) Consider upgrading a few things like your cookware, towels and sheets.  It will be nice to get presents that allow you to give your apartment a makeover!  Do consider your space but allow yourself to enjoy having a few nicer things that you might not otherwise have in your apartment πŸ™‚

2) Don’t feel guilty at all!  Big ticket items are something that very often a group of people will go in for.  Register for the mixer and a couple others.  Very often the bridal party or a few relatives will go in together on a big ticket item.  Sometimes guest appreciate being able to share on a gift this way.  You’re not being greedy, you’re giving them options πŸ™‚

3) People tend to ask if you’re registered anywhere.  Let your mom and a couple key bridemaids know so they may spread around the word.  It’s not wrong for them to share the information or if someone asks you for you to answer them.  If you’re having a wedding website, put the info on your website.  It’s a nice loophole in etiqueet that allows you to give the information out in a discreet way πŸ™‚

Try to relax and enjoy.  I know it can be stressful, but honestly people who love you will appreciate having options and will want to contribute something that becomes a part of your life, it’s a way they may show they love you πŸ™‚ 

Post # 7
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@mrsaponte:  Before my wedding, I could have written this post.  You are not alone in finding registering not as much fun as expected.  πŸ™‚  Try not to stress out about the process.  

1) We had this problem too.  As peeps have said above, wedding presents are supposed to be for your life together, so the idea that you have to use or unpack everything immediately is false.  We have sheet sets and towels that we have not broken out yet.  Think about what you want/need to have now and in the future.  People want to get you things that you will use for a lifetime.

2) Yup; I had a registry guilt as well.  Remember, a registry is a wish list, not a list of demands.  Definitely put big ticket items on, but make sure to have items at every price point.  Does Sears give you completion discounts?  People could give you gift cards or cash and then you could use them towards a bigger purchase. 

3) I’ve heard that The Bay has really improved their online registry services. So, if you’re still unhappy with the selection at Sears, you should check them out.  You could always make a trip to an actual Bay store, register, and then let people know (when asked) that they can access the registry online.  A lot of my parents’ friends did this for us (my parents live over an hour from the nearest Bay store).  It’s a faux pas to put registry info on your invite, but if people ask, go ahead and let them know.

Try to have a good time with registering!  

Post # 8
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The Bay has recently revamped their website and it’s So Much Better!  They have photos again and the biggest difference is that they now list sale prices on the website!  This was a huge guilt thing for us, as our place settings only showed up at $245 or something crazy on the website, but when we scanned them they were $135 and stayed approximately that price for the duration!  

Another thing is that in Canada, a lot of people will go online and check the Bay’s registry automatically, as it’s such a common place to register.  

Also – don’t stress about the big things.  I remember a friend trying to tell her husband that there was no way they should put the DSLR camera on the registry, but they got it!  I believe his family got together and purchased it for them.  It definitely made sense as a gift, too, as they moved to Korea to teach english within a few months of the wedding!

Post # 9
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Don’t stress! It should be a fun experience, and you definetly should not feel guilty. 

People will go in together for larger items, or you can purchase them yourself with money that you get. I would not tell people where you are registered unless they ask, it definitely does not belong on your wedding invitations, not sure if its ok for shower invitiation. Make sure your Mom and His know where you are registered, people will ask them too!

Rule of thumb is to register for enough stuff to be equal to 3 times your guest list, this way people have a variety of options to choose from. This way people can still feel like they are choosing something for you, isntead of being limited. If people are bothered by your list, its their issue. Its a wishlist, not a “i expect all this” list, and if you’re worried about it I can only imagine that anyone who knows you will understand that you aren’t being demanding. πŸ™‚

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