- 8 years ago
- Wedding: March 2011
Well, my fiance and I will be having a legal courthouse wedding due to some circumstances and having a bigger one for the family the next year. Although I had made it clear to those who know about it that it won’t be a big deal, my fiance and I still won’t be just going to Mickie D’s afterwards! Our parents, some of our siblings and we will be going to a lunch afterwards and my dad wants to hang out with us after, probably to go somewhere fun. Why not have a good time?
So, even though I told my mom it wasn’t a big deal about the first one, she is coming and I feel happy about that. She said “It’s your wedding, not really your day. That is next year but I am happy to be there.” I was happy and I am excited to see my mom but the thing is, she and my sister won’t be going to the lunch with us. She has to help out at a homecoming event that afternoon and evening. I totally understand about that and I moved the courthouse thing to the morning.
Here is the thing, and I totally get it that I am being bridezilla-ish but it still kind of hurts…my mom won’t be coming to the lunch and in fact she won’t be really there in the morning. She is just going to meet me at the hotel, then we drive to the courthouse and then she leaves. I get it that she is busy but another part of me is a little bit hurt. I know that the second one is the “big one” but I am looking forward to this small one too because it is an intimate thing and just plain fun without stress. I know my mom has four other kids to worry about but the thing is, this homecoming game/dance doesn’t really involve my other siblings, my brother is playing but then he thought it was kind of weird that she isn’t going to stick around a bit and she is doing other things for some friends. I feel kind of upset because I mean, I still am her daughter and I thought she would want to have some fun and we wouldn’t feel rushed and say goodbye as soon as I was married.
I know I shouldn’t be upset and count my blessings but a part of me thinks that it just stinks. I have never asked for my mom’s involvement with anything I have ever did. When I was in H.S. my mom wasn’t there at all but I forgave that. My mother and I have never seen each other on our birthdays (we manage to see each other at least a couple of days before or after) and I just kind of feel forgotten. She doesn’t post my pics in her facebook family album and no they aren’t racy,lol. I know she is proud of me because I was accepted into my university but…I don’t know. She always expects me to be there for my siblings or family things but I haven’t made her go to anything. I give invitations but she doesn’t really reply. I know she misses me (we live three hours away from one another) but I feel like this is a day I need her and I don’t feel like she wants to be around. I feel kind of annoyed that I am letting this even bother me! I feel bad for even feeling bad that I want my mother there and not have her rush back to her van!
I am sorry if I sound whiny and immature, just a stupid vent.