(Closed) A Tale of Two Weddings

posted 8 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Which wedding?
    OURS: Sunday Brunch : (34 votes)
    87 %
    THEIRS: Big bash : (0 votes)
    Other (please elaborate) : (3 votes)
    8 %
    Oooooh, that's a tough one! : (2 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If this was a question of what you wanted vs. what your fiance wanted.. then I would suggest coming up with some sort of compromise.  But is sounds like the bride and groom are on the same page.  If you and your fiance both want a small quite affair then that’s what you should have.  You do not need to meet his parents expectation of what a wedding should be (esp. if they aren’t paying) if that’s not what you guys want.  If his parents are really insistent on having a big bash then let them throw you an engagement party that is more suited to their taste.

    Post # 4
    Member
    175 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Could you do some sort of “after party” that might appeal to his side? You have your wedding, but then you designate a club/bar for people to meet up that night to celebrate.  You could get a drink package if it’s in the budget and everyone can do their dancing/partying.  You can make an early exit with your husband, and his family can have the rest of the night to party as they please.

    Post # 6
    Member
    406 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    there will be plenty of other opportunities throughout your life and “theirs” to party and dance till dawn… this is your day and it should be how you want it to be.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Can you compromise a bit? Hubs and I ran into this problem when planning our wedding too. We compromised by having a limited open bar and fun things for my family to do whilst also keeping it smallish and Sunday brunch-ish for us and his family. Everyone had a great time and those that wanted to party on went ahead and did so.

    Post # 8
    Member
    353 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I like aclaire’s idea.  I think you should sit down with his family and share your ideas for the Sunday brunch and explain that a large party is not in the budget but if they wanted to throw you the after party you would be very happy to help financially anyway you can.  Not sure if you are doing a rehersal dinner but that is generally paid for by the groom’s family, so instead of them paying for that you could ask them to put the money towards the after party?

     

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    1816 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    Go for the Sunday brunch!  I agree with the ladies above that you could arrange for an after-party or perhaps do a big barbeque/cookout a weekend after the wedding to celebrate with extended family/friends.

    Post # 10
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee

    Go with the Sunday brunch. Involve your Fiance in communication with your Father-In-Law and maybe come up with some games or activities to keep the partiers moving and having fun. Love the idea of an after-party – and if its what his family wants, I might add, then to my way of thinking they are the ones who should pay.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2344 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We were in a similar situation, and ended up having a brunch reception with an after party for his family and our younger friends. It was great and I was happy with it, but his family did not contribute to the after party except for the bar, so we paid to rent the room at the restaurant where it was held and paid for a snack bar for everyone. We did the playlist ourselves so no DJ. If I had it to do over again, I would have pushed more for them to pay for the whole thing, since my family would have been totally happy with just the brunch reception.

    Post # 13
    Member
    278 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Could you do a Sunday dinner instead of brunch? Then his family would get some of the party/dancing that they want, but I bet it would be much less raucous than a late Saturday party. And might be cheaper.

    Post # 14
    Member
    126 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Have the wedding you and your fiance want to have!

    To appease your future in-laws, maybe suggest that they host a “second reception” after you two get back from the honeymoon. You could have the open bar, dancing, DJ, etc. that they want, without sacrificing the intimate wedding you two desire.

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