(Closed) A tale of woe about a bridesmaid and her dress…

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
372 posts
Helper bee

I  have the exact same problem!  Ok, well, a similar problem.  I picked out "off the rack" dresses for all my BM’s and had a 90 day return period.  Two of the girls completely refused to try them on at all, and we’re now out of the return period.  I am fairly certain they’ll fit, but if it comes down to right before the wedding and they don’t fit, I’m afraid I’m going to cause major drama by telling them they can’t be in the wedding.  I’m sure I sound like a monster for saying that, but since they had the chance to try them on (and if they didn’t work I would have returned them all and started over), I don’t really feel like getting new dresses at the last minute.

 

 

Post # 5
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly, I just think this is something you have to let her worry about. You have enough on your plate planning the wedding. There are lots of magical things a good seamstress to do if she doesn’t lose the weight needed.

Post # 7
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with aja0829. If it doesn’t fit, everyone with a brain will know it was her fault, not yours. Don’t stress about about something you can’t control.

Having said that, I don’t know what your relationship with her is like, but I am very straightforward with my friends, as they are with me. I have a pretty heavy bridesmaid who wears her clothes too tight. If I were in the same situation, I would say to her just like this – "Listen girl, its been 7 months, and you haven’t lost any weight. I know how hard it is to lose weight, but the clock is ticking, and I know your dress will be too small if you stay the same weight now. I know you don’t want to wear a too small dress, so how can I help you get started?" Maybe you can’t be that blunt, but I’ve learned some people need to be told things straight!

Post # 8
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

So frustrating. i think in every wedding there is one bridesmaid that causes problems.  You would think they wouldn’t do this to the bride but they always do!  I have one bridesmaid in my friends wedding who bought her dress and complained that it was too tight across the chest.  So why did you order it? Duhh! 

What did she do in the other weddings when her dress didn’t fit? 

 

Post # 9
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

it IS frustrating. Even though I asked my SIL if I could put off ordering my dress for a few months , I said it was because I wanted to loose weight , but it’s more i’m worried I’ll gain weight due to my new meds  . I never understand ordering a dress smaller than you are in hopes that it will motivate you to drop a few pounds. No advise here but I hope t works out or you!!

Post # 11
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

The only thing I would suggest (other than what the other posters have suggested) is that maybe you can become her workout/weightloss mentor or buddy. Have a one-on-one talk with her and tell her you really want to help her reach her goal. Maybe you can offer to help her come up with a plan and then keep in touch everyday or every few days to see how things are going and what is working or not working for her. You can be her go to person when she needs encouragement. If you live nearby her maybe you could even schedule times when you two can go for walks together. Maybe she just needs someone to motivate her.

Post # 12
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

So sorry.  I can understand being anxious about it.  And it is such a delicate subject.  How is she complaining you didn’t give her enough time, when clearly she still ahse over a year to lose weight, even if the dress is now set?  And I agree 3 sizes is a bunch.

Ask yourself, what’s the worst that can happen?  Try to come up with alternatives.  How much is the dress?  For your piece of mind, would it be worth it to secretly buy a second dress, just in case?  Of course you don’t want to insult her.  But if she finds at the last minute that she can’t fit into her dress, she’d probably be mighty relieved to see one she can wear, show up.

Post # 13
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Oh, what a yucky situation! If the dress doesn’t fit by the time the wedding rolls around, maybe you can just ask her to find a similar dress that she can wear, rather than completely cutting her out. The the pressure will be on her, and not on you. If she doesn’t get one, then she probably won’t be able to be in the wedding. 🙁

I agree that maybe she just needs a friend to help motivate her! Maybe you can be her workout buddy, or even  just go for a walk with her once or twice a week. The biggest challenge with losing weight (for me) is starting out, so maybe if you can get the ball rolling and be positive she will get motivated and excited about getting in shape. Good luck!!

Post # 14
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009 - Ceremony: The Kraine Theatre, Reception: Midtown Loft & Terrace

That is a sticky situation. I agree with the other posters who have thrown out the idea that maybe you can be her workout buddy or something.

Another thing to keep in mind is that a seamstress who knows her stuff can probably help you out if things don’t go as well as she’s planned. I was recently a bridesmaid in a wedding where one of the other bridesmaids had gained some weight and couldn’t fit into her dress and there was no way to replace the dress, so we went to the fabric store and bought very similar fabric and the seamstress was able to sew in an extra panel that wasn’t even noticeable! It was very impressive. Maybe something like that will work for you, worst case scenario.

Good luck! 

Post # 15
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I had a similar problem and I changed the order myself later on ha. Dunno if that’s an option for you.

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