- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
I’ve had previous posts about a relative’s upcoming destination wedding and how thoughtless and downright greedy the couple seems to be behaving. So the bridal shower was a couple of weeks ago and I just need to vent about something that took place…
It seems that the bride & groom have finally realized that very few people are actually planning to attend their wedding with the travel & the costs (the bride’s parents have mentioned this to me more than once & confided in me & my mom that they are dead broke because of this wedding & even took out a mortgage on their home.) so they came up with the idea for the MOB to throw a shower where she (MOB) & most of the family live. The bride posted photos of a shower her BMs hosted for her on Facebook the week prior so this was at least a second shower.
The shower was not a surprise, and the bride is known for being “fabulous.” Her motto is: “Go big or go home.” The shower was about 8 relatives and then 35-45 of her mother’s friends (women in their late 60s & early 70’s). Several of the relatives commented that it seemed to be a “gift grab.”
So, the MOB went on for weeks about the FABULOUS catering she was having and how FABULOUS the shower would be. There is a bakery in our area that is known for its “stuffed cupcakes” & the bride specifically requested the cupcakes because Oprah & Gayle have them delivered so obviously, they’re FABULOUS. The cupcakes sell for $3.50 each, but I don’t think that MOB was aware. I’m known as a pretty good baker & I take orders during the holidays for extra money. I also will bake for family functions when asked. So about a week before the shower, MOB calls & asks me if I can bake the cupcakes for her since they are so expensive. I agreed but told her they’d have to pay for the ingredients and I would donate my time & skill as a gift to the bride, since they asked for 80 filled cupcakes in 4 different flavors.
So the day of the shower, I provided the cupcakes and before they were served, I pulled the bride-to-be aside & showed her the cupcake display, explained the different flavors and gave her a card. She said, “thanks” and went to the bar for a drink before opening her cards and gifts. The guests RAVED over the cupcakes done in red velvet, carrot cake, pina colada and mojito flavors with the frosting and cupcake wrappers coordinated to her colors.
She then proceeded to open every gift & card in front of the guests except the one I gave her. I didn’t think much of it until one of the older ladies did the favor of mentioning to me that it is in poor taste to attend a shower without bringing a gift. That truly annoyed me!
So I made my way over to the bride-to-be & in a private moment, asked her why she didn’t open my card. She said she didn’t want it to seem that I hadn’t given any gift because she & her mother didn’t want the guests to know that I baked the cupcakes; they told people they were from the expensive bakery. She then added that it wasn’t like I really even gave a gift because her mother paid for the ingredients.
THAT PISSED ME OFF! I spent my time & energy in 90+ degree heat with my oven on making those cupcakes for two days! Yes, her mother paid for the basic ingredients, but I had to formulate the recipes, make & bake them & then decorate them in her shower colors. I saved her mother more than $250 and sweated in my kitchen and that isn’t a real gift?
I was through… or at least I thought I was until 4 days later, I received a TEXT MESSAGE saying “thanks for the cupcakes, they were delicious and gorgeous!!! Do you want to do more for the wedding?”
Really? That was the nail in the coffin. Hubby & I were on the fence about attending the wedding (which is now 7 weeks away & invitations STILL haven’t gone out) but now we most definitely will NOT. We’re not spending another dime or second of our time on them or this wedding… There was not a single person at that shower that gifted her anything worth more than $100, but somehow my gift “wasn’t a real gift?” PUHLEEEEEEASE!
Am I off base here?