- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
I didn’t know how else to title it, because that’s so appropriate. Everything is a total mess right now. I’m so stressed, my entire body hurts, I’m sick, I’m on an antibiotic that’s known to cause sleeplessness (which is the LAST thing I need right now), my FH and I got into a fight…and all I need is somebody to just come hold me and help me through it.
To start at the beginning, I am planning the wedding I did NOT want. I wanted a pretty sundress that I didn’t have to think about dieting for, a JOP, and a nice dinner at a wonderful restaurant with our parents, siblings, and grandparents IF they felt like coming. I am 8 weeks away from a 100+ people guest list and a big poofy wedding gown that, if I’m honest, I’m not sure I’ll fit into.
My reception place has been NOTHING but a NIGHTMARE since the day I signed the contract. She told me NOT to sign a food contract at the same time, saying to wait until 3 months out. She then changed all the prices of the food–the main reason I even booked with her. She has yet to get the food contract correct, and this is the 5th one I’ve received (Sorry, but I was raised not to sign it unless every minor detail was in it). A month ago she texts me (I still have this text, locked into my phone) that I owe $150 to the rental of the building and $100 to decorate the day before. Today she emails me that I owe $400 total. Doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I’m on a budget. A $7500 budget. That’s getting eaten up quickly, even with me putting all the manual labor in myself.
My mother lives 2 hours away, but swore up and down she’d be up with me anytime I needed her help with something, and that she’s always a phonecall away. But when it comes time for her to make the decisions SHE WANTED TO MAKE, she’s putting me off. “Oh, I can’t make it because I’ve got too much classwork to do…” “I can’t stay on the phone. What do you need.” But she’s got time to drive 7 hours away, at the drop of a dime btw, because my sister is “lonely.” Yes, there are some longstanding jealousy issues between my sister and I…I’m not going to get into them.
My fiance has a groomsman who keeps putting off getting his tux and a groomsmaid who is making every excuse why she shouldn’t buy a dress yet. Even though I’m moving down to be with him in 9 weeks, he hasn’t even looked for a place for both of us to live (he currently lives with a lesbian and another couple). Every single thing he’s said he’ll take care of because he wants to isn’t being taken care of at all–I end up having to do it.
On top of that we got into a fight this evening. Over what, you ask? A. Stupid. Cat. His cat isn’t declawed. Neither is mine. However, mine doesn’t DESTROY chairs, clothes, and beds. His does. I told him he needed to have that taken care of–I don’t care if he declaws the cat, buys that “scratch away” or puts caps on the nails, it needs to be taken care of before the BRAND NEW bedroom set is down there in three weeks (which WAS necessary, because FH only has a twin bed and I’ve been living in dorms and with family). Darling FH has refused to do so for the past 3 months, and now that it’s time for the bedroom furniture to arrive, has only just started calling about getting the cat declawed–which he feels is inhumane and makes him a monster. I gave SEVERAL options….ONE of which was declawing.
I ended up bawling on the phone, telling him I’m fed up with the way he’s acting, the way my mother’s acting, and this whole dadgum wedding. He chooses to focus on how my reception manager is a …witch… (no offense to any practitioners, of course). He hung up on me, because I kept crying.
I’m just done. I know that’s not how I’m supposed to feel about my impending wedding, but I’m done. I want the marriage, I want to be with him (even if I don’t particularly want that cat right now). I just…can’t deal with anything else right now, and it just keeps piling on.
This is NOT me asking for advice, so please, don’t share any. I just needed to get it off my chest into an environment I knew was safe.