- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
So, we see a lot of posts here about issues with mothers’ and MILs’ dress choices. Usually, the advice is just to let it go and that if Mother-In-Law picks a wildly inappropriate dress (plunging neckline with a mini skirt or, worse, a long white lace dress with a train, etc) that you should just be quiet and know that she will be the one who looks like a fool at the wedding, not you, and it’s not worth fighting over.
Well…when I got married I took this route. My Mother-In-Law didn’t make a crazy choice, or one intended to upstage me by any means. She just picked something waaaaaay too informal for a wedding (long cotton dress) that didn’t flatter her body, that she refused to hem to the correct length, and that really required her to wear a bra (which she then chose not to do). She showed me a picture of her in it after she purchased it and asked if it was ok for her to wear. I told her that as long as she felt special in it, and like the MOG, then I was happy for her to wear whatever she wanted. At the wedding and in looking at photos she never mentioned anything else about it so I figured she was happy with her choice.
MIL’s daughter is now engaged and when my mother called to offer congratulations, Mother-In-Law unloaded about how she felt sooo embarrassed at the wedding about her dress being not formal or special enough. How she got it for $50 at Macy’s because that is how she usually buys dresses–then realized later everyone else was wearing fancy things and that she should have spent more money and more time finding the right dress (BEFORE YOU FREAK OUT–money was not an issue here, she is loaded, and she told my mom that her budget for her own dress to the next wedding is $1-2k because she realized how off she was at her son’s wedding).
So now I wonder….in an effort to not upset or seem bridezilla, does it sometimes do a disservice? Would Mother-In-Law have been happier in the end had I said that she might want to get a different dress? Are there appropriate times to step in on this issue?
(sorry if paragraph breaks aren’t showing, they show in the editor!)