(Closed) A Very Controversial "Something Old"

posted 8 years ago in Dress
  • poll: Do you think it's ok to wear a dress from a previous engagement if you never actually married in it
    I'd do it! It's a huge waste of money and resources not to, plus if it's awesome, no reason not to! : (190 votes)
    47 %
    I think it's fine. It's not like you got to wear it & it'll be hard to top if you really loved it... : (101 votes)
    25 %
    I personally wouldn't do it, but I wouldn't judge you if you did. : (90 votes)
    22 %
    The dress is tainted, & folks are going to think you just cut and pasted new groom into old wedding! : (20 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    7605 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I can’t think of a single mature, realistic, practical reason NOT to!  It sounds great and you already have it.  Sure, if you’d actually been married in it before, I can see why one might hesitate.  Go for it!

    Post # 33
    Member
    7605 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @penguinof3:  I think it’s clear that your personal experiences are affecting your opinions, but I think comparing a ring to a dress is pretty different.  The bride doesn’t purchase her dress as a gift to the groom that he has to wear every day forever (although that would be pretty funny….)  🙂

    Post # 34
    Member
    2696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Did you buy the dress to fit how you wanted to look and your own personality or did you buy it for you ex-fiance’s personality?

    This is fine. Wear the heck out of it!

    Post # 35
    Member
    4192 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    I agree with PP that it’s not your “old”- it’s your new. I would run it by Fiance, to see if he has any issues with it. If not, wear it! 

    People are superstitious (trust me-as a Friday the 13th bride, I know!) So I’d not share with others, than those who already know, the history of the dress. Or you probably will get “You can’t wear that, it’s tainted,” etc.

    Post # 36
    Member
    127 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @TurdFerguson:  Y not? I would u didnt buy the dress to fit you old fiance…..You bought the dress because it was perfect for you!!!! I say do it.

    Post # 37
    Member
    3696 posts
    Sugar bee

    Tainted, schmainted … wear the dress! It has been patiently waiting all this time for its turn in the limelight, which it hasn’t had yet … go for it!

    Post # 38
    Member
    714 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2020 - establishment theatre

    @Juliepants:  had nothing to do with personal experience, i didnt know his ex but when he told me she did that i gasped! when I bought my wedding dress I had the person at the end of the aisle in mind also…what would he like me to see me in, ect. also she has to look at pics the rest of her life knowing she bought it for a previous engagement…to me no different than a ring. like i said its my personal opinion that its a new engagement, a new relationship, a new start…get a new dress.

    Post # 39
    Member
    1091 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I guess you have a couple options- wear it or sell it (to increase the current dress budget).

    Honestly, I’d personally probably be iffy on wearing it, but in the end practicality (and not having to try on 300 dresses all over again) would win and I’d wear the thing.  It’s not like you wore it in a previous wedding- it’s just been sitting in a closet for all these years waiting for its turn.

    I don’t know about running it by your FI- I’m really on the fence with that one. Does he know you have a dress from your previous engagement? Is he going to ask questions when you just magically produce a wedding dress without the requisite SYTTD shopping fiasco?  Or is he oblivious?  If he doesn’t already know and he wouldn’t question the lack of shopping trip, I’d say don’t bother running it by him.  If he knows you have the dress laying around and he’d question the lack of shopping trip, run it by him.  You know your Fiance better than we do- is he the type to get bent out of shape about something like this, or would he just be glad you saved the couple hundred bucks?

    Post # 40
    Member
    1936 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Honestly, wear it. We dream about that perfect dress all our lives and picture it with whiever boyfirned we’re with at the time… no matter that you bought it for another wedding that didn’t happen. the fact is, is that you bought the dress you want to wear on your wedding day. period! Since you haven’t had a wedding day yet… wear it!

    Post # 41
    Member
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @Penguinof3 I agree with you.

    New life, new relationship, new dress…… I know you didnt buy it in the mind set that it would please your ex but you bought it to look good for him. Im putting the shoe on the other foot and saying if my Fiance was ever engaged before me and bought a tux to look good for his ex, then married me instead I would not want him wearing that same tux. Maybe that seems silly but to me I would look at that suit and see reminders of what was in my FI’s past and not in our future. Would you really want to stare at a suit that your Fiance bought to look good for another woman? I think you should sell it and get a new dress….If i was in an old dress it would only remind me of why I had that dress in the first place and thats not where your head should be on your wedding day…..

    Post # 42
    Member
    311 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    DO IT.

    Post # 43
    Member
    212 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wouldnt, I found a dress i loved but when i was shopping for that dress i had my fiance in my mind… when i see my dress i see my fiance….i think its a little i don’t odd. but thats my opinion

    Post # 44
    Member
    212 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

     @penguinof3:  I agree with u, I think its a little weird when brides go wedding dress shopping and there attitude is “well its for me, i don’t care about what my fiance thinks”. If u love someone then u actually do care about what they think, even though u know he’ll find u beautiful in anything, u just still care… Thats why i dont know why they wanna wear that same dress u bought for the previous engagement. but to each there own! 🙂 

    Post # 45
    Member
    1238 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @Taeyers:  THIS! 🙂

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