Post # 1
Hey bees –
So, has anyone had a very short engagement – 4 months or less? If so, do you regret it? Here’s my situation:
- Fiance and I have been engaged two weeks tomorrow.
- We leave for Japan for two weeks on May 12.
- Summer in our area of Texas is…not great.
- My sis plans to get married this fall, and I don’t want to crowd her (she doesn’t care, but I do).
This leaves before (end of April or early May…June would be so hot but ok?) or right after our trip to get married, as we have no interest in being engaged for a year or longer (both in mid 30s and considering a major move within the year). I would love a December wedding but really don’t want to wait that long.
My mom is worried I’ll regret rushing, but to be honest, it doesn’t feel like rushing. I think she thinks I’ll miss some of the joy of planning, but I don’t. I want to get everything settled, have a genuine, lovely ceremony, a party for our friends and family and then just be married.
For practicality’s sake, I think the dress would be the toughest task, as caterer and potential venue are pretty open. Plus, I have an account ready to go with our wedding budget.
This topic was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by hope1981.
Post # 2
If you can pull it off and not be completely stressed then more power to you. The bigger and more DIY the more challenging it could be.
Post # 3
It depends what your expectations for the wedding are. You’d have to move quick and set a date so people can come, but if you can do it and are ok with the fact you might not have everything perfect, then go for it!!!
Post # 4
We were married around 2 1/2 months after we were engaged. We were engaged in October, and as we don’t live near family, and everyone had to travel anyway, planned a small mini-destination wedding (over a long weekend) on Vancouver Island for the New Year’s holiday weekend, at a location that had meaning to us both. In our case, we had a limited amount of people we really wanted to be there, and we informally canvassed what would work for them. I was pretty busy witih work at the time, so my husband planned a good amount of things (read…pretty much everything except the flowers which was my area and I still managed to have that go wrong, ha ha).
NO regrets at all! Years later we would not change a thing. We ended up with about 16 guests able to come for the weekend. It did not feel rushed to us at all, as we were ready to get married the day we got engaged honestly. I am not a big “wedding” person (despite being on weddingbee!) and so the less time and less details for me the better. I bought a sample dress that only needed hemming. It was off season at the location and they were just getting into doing weddings so it was easy to book and we got a great deal/package on rooms for everyone (the bulk of our cost was travel and we paid for people’s rooms and threw in certificates for the spa/dining for them as “favours”). We had a nice intimate ceremony with a non-denominational officiant we met/hired online and provided our desired vows and so on for. For our “reception dinner” we actually just had an a la carte dinner in the venue’s restaurant – it was very nice, they set up an area for us by fireplace and printe special menus (without prices) for us without us even asking and people ordered whatever they liked which removed a lot of hassle of planning catering and so on.
So, yeah, I think you can absolutely do a short engagement if your expectations are reasonable. You likely won’t get “big ‘perfect’ wedding” but you can get a meaningful and memorable wedding all the same 🙂
Post # 5
We did it in 6 months and no regrets. Honestly planning a wedding for 18 months would be my idea of purgatory. Too easy to get sucked in to second guessing every decision and obsessing over non-essentials. Happy couple + decent food and drink = happy guests. Done!
Congratulations on your engagement!
Post # 6
As long as you don’t do a ton of DIY, and are flexible with your vision you should be fine. The more particular you are, the longer planning takes. I did a ton of DIY with a pretty specific vision, and did it in less than 6 months. You will be limited by dress options, but David’s Bridal, samples, the internet and secondhand are also great options. A December wedding would also be pretty, but then you are alsmot pushing a year. We wated summer solstice, so our options were plan it quick or over a year, and I am SOOO glad I am not still planning a wedding right now for June.
I would also probably get married before Japan or wait till December. I would not want to be travleing 2 weeks out of country right before my wedding. Plus, if the Japan trip is not for work, it would be a sweet honeymoon.
If Mother’s Day weekend does not pose a logistic issue for you, I would have the wedding May 6,7 or 8th (Fri, Sat, Sun) and that would give you enough time to be ready to leave for Japan on the 12th.
Post # 7
Engaged May 22, married August 21. Wouldn’t change a thing! Our wedding was incredible!
Post # 8
We aren’t having a long engagement but I wish were were! We’ve been engaged for 7 month and have 6 months to go and I really thing I could have planned this wedding if half the time we are taking! I’m so ready to be done planning and actually be married!
The dress could be a little tricky but not impossible, I say go for a short engagement!
Post # 9
I did. Here’s summary. My husband and I met 2 1/2 years before we married. We didn’t hit it off very well and didn’t date. But we were both leaving to serve missions for our church at about the same time and we were at least on friendly terms so we agreed to write each other. He went to Puerto Rico and I went to McAllen Texas and such along the border there. Hot!!! So, we wrote each other for two years. By the time we both got back we both knew we were right for each other but how to say it? I arranged a job that got me to the East Coast to be near him and we had our first date. A week later he called me, devastated, thinking that I wasn’t interested. I had to poin out that I’d moved across the country for him. One more week later and the cat was out of the bag. We both knew we were right for each other and were frustrated going through the motions of the dating phase. So we had our engagement conversation –no formal proposal. I don’t like formal frills. He had started work as a teacher so we had two choices: get married in December or during April vacation. Neither of us was interested in waiting for the summer. Truth was I didn’t like the “almost married” phase either. It made every issue that came up seem more stressful and serious. If we argued I wondered if he would have second thoughts etc. I wanted to just get on with married life and really merge our lives. So December it was. Our engagement was just under four months. We eloped for cost and simplicity. No regrets. Married 16 years. People do long engagements for convenience to take their time planning or of necessity due to obstacles. But overall they are not inherently necessary.
Post # 10
We were engaged in April of 2015 and married in October of 2015- so about 6 months. I dont regret a thing! Some things (like venues) book way in advance so I had to find them right away, but otherwise I had no problems planning everything in 6 months and totally think I could have done it in less time! We are both also in our 30’s and I wanted a fall wedding, so there was NO way I was waiting a year and a half! I say go for it, there should be no “rules” to engagment times!
PS. I went dress shopping pretty soon after and it took 3 months for the dress to come in. I still got it with about 2 months to get it altered before the wedding.
Post # 11
I was engaged for 15 months and thought that was way too long. Truthfully there’s only so much you can do that far in advance (unless you are DIY-ing a lot). Once we got all the major stuff booked, it as “hurry up and wait” until a couple months before the wedding. I feel like 8-10 months is a good amount of time if you want a longer engagement but if you guys are ready, why wait!?
Post # 12
My husband and I had a 3 month engagement as we were moving overseas. I am very organized and I knew exactly what I wanted so which made the planning a lot easier. It helped that both of our families were really supportive of our plans and generously paid for the wedding. We actually had a really beautiful day, the ceremony was amazing and our reception was so much fun! Realistically only 1 or 2 things would have been different if we had a longer engagement. During our engagement was that I was asked many many times if I was pregnant by my colleagues and family members. It got a little anyoning having to explain over and over again that I was just bloated… You are right about the dress, I got a lot of grief from the bridal boutiques I visited about ‘how ridiculous’ it was to have a short engagement. Luckily I am sample size so I was able to buy a dress off the rack.
To answer your question, my only real regret is that we didn’t have time to enjoy being engaged because we had to do so much planning in such a short period of time. It was almost like we went from being boyfriend/girlfried to being husband/wife.
Post # 13
We had a court house wedding so it only took us 2 months
Post # 14
You’ll have to be prepared to be very flexible and not to get too set on particular venues or suppliers, as a lot of vendors/suppliers you contact won’t be available! Even planning a wedding up to a year away these days seems to be considered a ‘short’ engagement, as so many venues, celebrants, caterers etc are booked out years in advance.
Post # 15
Thank you all! His mother lives out of the country but is in town at the moment and will be staying with us next week. We will see if she will be available and/or wants to come and go from there.
We are both low key and ready to be married, so I think we might just do it!
And Japan was his engagement gift from me, so why not a honeymoon?!