(Closed) A way to not invite a family member who was originally attending.

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Well the first thing I would do is talk to your dad. Make sure that it is, indeed, a deal-breaker for him if she comes. If you explain it to him and beg he might turn around. 

If that doesn’t work then I’d talk to your mom about it because (I’m presuming) she knows her sister best and will know how best to bring it up. 


That situation sucks. I’m sorry you are in it. It’s so dumb when adults refuse to act like adults. 

Post # 4
3266 posts
Sugar bee

I think your dad needs to not make this about him, and suck it up.  I think he is being 100% unreasonable (unless she has either abused HIM, or done something illegal to him)

He doesn’t have to interact with her. Or speak to her, or even look at her.  I would hope that attending your wedding is worth more to him then being in a room with someone he doesn’t care for.

Post # 5
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@andielovesj:  +1

I told my Fiance that his mom and dad (divorced for over 20 years) will have to play nice at our wedding, and that I will NOT put up with any bullshit from them. I don’t care if they’re not all smiles and sunshine, but civility is what I expect.

Post # 7
8361 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It is time for dad to grow up and see that he can have his own opinions but that everyone else doesn’t have to share them. You need to stop enabling yor dad- he only gets away with behaviour like this because it is allowed by the people around him.

The fact that he is still holding a grudge 20 years on is pretty sad especially over something as petty as taking advantage of his hospitality. Only person to blame there is the person who lets themselves be taken advantage of!

I think you need to call your dads bluff especially since he sounds like he is likely to ditch the wedding over any old thing. By pandering to him you are confirming to him thathis behaviour is acceptable.

If he says he isn;t coming then calmly tell him you are sorry and disappointed that he feels that way and that you will miss him and the memories that you would make on the day.

Post # 8
3266 posts
Sugar bee

It sounds like he is looking for any reason to not attend. Although this will be difficult, I would probably tell him that she has already been invited, and that if he can’t prioritize my happiness over her attendance, that he will be missed.

Even if you un-invite this aunt (which would be rude), it sounds like he still may not come (because he thinks it’s a private matter, or it’s a waste of money, or just because he is selfish [sorry, but he is]).  Then you will be missing 2 people at your wedding, instead of just one.

Post # 11
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Milenah:  Glad everything worked out for you!

The topic ‘A way to not invite a family member who was originally attending.’ is closed to new replies.

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