Post # 1
Around the the end of the year my Future Father-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law told me and our Fiance that they were planning to fly down to TX to see their extended family in March. I have not met his extended family and would like to. After the trip was mentioned to us we pretty much forgot about it. I turned in something at work suggesting I MIGHT be going to Texas but it was to hold a spot in case. A month ago or so his family brought up their going to TX again at dinner. We were with his sister and when they asked if we were going to go with them Steven pretty much said he didn’t know what we were doing. His sister got all defensive and was acting like we were being rude for not wanting to go.
But here is the thing. Until a few days ago Fiance didn’t have a job. He quit to go back to school and while we are ok on money as we are living with Steven’s parents until after the wedding but if I can’t go shopping when I would like sometimes (which would just be a step up from never) or we rarely go out to eat then I think putting this vacation on the backburner is ok. We have a wedding to pay for. School to pay for. And I’ll be in class the time we would be going on vacation, etc. Am I wrong for thinking it’s dumb of them to get offended that we wouldn’t want to go down there? It’s not like we don’t want to, or that I don’t want to meet them but I can wait until the wedding if that’s what it takes.
Post # 3
I would just simply tell them what you said here.
“We would love more than anything to go to Texas with you all, but it would be very irresponsible of us financially to go at this time. After the wedding, we plan to schedule a trip down to see everyone.”
How can they argue with adults acting responsibly?
Post # 4
@SweetRose2011: I think with all the fiscal responsibilities you have dear, that it might be too much for them to ask this of you. Yes its incredibly generous that they have you in their home and what not, but you have limitations as to your budget and you are paying for not only a wedding, but schooling yourself as well. I wouldnt think the effect of going away during school wouldnt help your grades either. I think you should calmly say that while you really appreciate their hospitality in inviting you, and how supportive the family has been, that its important that as a couple you both focus on what you can fiscally afford, and time wise what is possible. I also agree that the wedding would be a great time to get to know extended family. I really hope they respond well to you being honest, just make sure they know that you want to go, but in all honestly really shouldnt!
😀 I hope that helps!
Post # 5
Maybe they don’t understand all the responsibilities you have. You definitely have a good excuse not to go… but they probably aren’t thinking about him not having a job and you having classes. Maybe if you explain that to them they will be better understanding. Or maybe they will even offer to pay.
Families in general are just getting on my nerves. My future in laws are great people, but I don’t understand the way they act sometimes. I guess I will always feel like an outsides at times. Ugh.
Post # 6
@kperry3: tell me about it. I love his family, and we get along so well, but sometimes I just wanna scream!
Post # 7
@SweetRose2011: I feel like that about my fBIL all the time….