(Closed) "A wedding just isn't our idea of fun"

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
1152 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Yeah my response would just be something along the lines of “I’m sorry to hear that you feel that way, I was excited to share this huge event in my life with you (especially since we’re covering all costs for guests except transportation to and from the wedding!) but I understand that you can’t make it.  We will miss you!”

Post # 18
Member
2509 posts
Sugar bee

@Tincangirl:  Honestly all I really hear in her email is this:

“I want to avoid weddings because I won’t be having one, due to BF’s experiences, and I wish I was but I won’t admit it” i.e. “I’m jealous”

I could be totally off but with all of my friends getting married in the past 3 years, I only ever saw this attitude from someone who wishes it was them getting married instead. So they downplay weddings and quote divorce rates and basically do everything BUT just be happy for the couple.

If she’s not happy for you she should just keep it to herself and politely decline your invite (if there were to be one).

Post # 19
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Christ, what a twunt….

Post # 20
Member
1990 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Tincangirl:  Ugh how rude!

She sounds like the “sorry not sorry” type… aka bitter at life.

I’m so sorry you have to deal with her… and her Eeyore attitude about life.

You are a good friend.

 

Post # 22
Member
2445 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Wow what a freaking biatch. It wasn’t necessary AT ALL of her to give that as reasoning for why she wouldn’t come. It sounds like she just wanted to be nasty and hurt you – I’m assuming even though she said she “doesn’t put much stock into weddings” that she’s extremely jealous.

Please don’t invite this person. Save your money on hotel accomodations for someone else!

Post # 23
Member
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

@Tincangirl:  one less person for you to pay for. Only those who want to be at your wedding and who will value what the day means should be welcome. Don’t let her get to you. I don’t even know why she felt the need to explain all of that to you. A simple “congrats! keep me posted” and then a decline later would have sufficed.

Post # 24
Member
6524 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Tincangirl:  I wouldn’t even bother inviting her to be honest.

My Maid/Matron of Honor actually said something mean to me also, I had called her because I was upset with how my sister was behaving throughout my planning process. Everything was a hassle for her. So my Maid/Matron of Honor and bestfriend said well, no one is excited to be in a wedding, its an inconveinence.

So I feel your frustration and pain.

Post # 25
Member
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Wow. She must be the suckiest person to invite to a birthday party.

Post # 26
Member
2890 posts
Sugar bee

@Tincangirl:  Well … I think it’s clumsy, but at least she’s being honest. I actually had the same kind of awkward discussion a few years ago with my sister and best friend, they were talking about babies, and I am CBC, and I told them not to expect me to jump of joy when they announce they’re pregnant, and not to expect me to pretend the nipple cream/food blender/diaper discussions interest me. It doesn’t change the fact I can be happy for them because I know it means a lot to them and I care about them, but it doesn’t interest me the slightest, and it’s definitely not my idea of fun. I prefer to be honest and to tell them look, you’ll have plenty of people just waiting in line to tickle your baby’s stomach and make fart noises on their belly. I just won’t be one of them, but that doesn’t change the fact I was your friend before you were a mother, that I still want to be your friend after, but on this topic, our opinions and feelings are different and it’s okay. Different lifestyles doesn’t mean we can’t acknowledge the other’s choices and be happy for them. 

I think she was just trying to tell you why weddings are not such a high priority to her as they are to you, but that doesn’t change the fact she’s happy for you. It took courage to admit where she stands to you. And if there’s any more issue about it, you should talk to her directly. These are hot topics, and writing her reasoning was not the best way to express her feelings/opinions to you.

Post # 27
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

DRRRRAAMMAA queen!!

Post # 28
Member
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

 Well, that’s a cry for attention if I’ve ever seen one.  Just give her the polite ‘hope you can make it’, and ignore it.

Post # 29
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Why can’t she just say “can’t come, I’m sorry but wish you the best”???

She has to make her opinions known?  Give me a break.  That was needless and rude of her. 

Post # 30
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Save your money and don’t send her an invite since she obviously isn’t coming, doesn’t give a shit about weddings, won’t have any fun and just overall sounds like a rude ass bitch.

Post # 31
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

People are so thoughtless sometimes. I understand the world does not revolve around me and my wedding, but I invited a friend to my Destination Wedding and she was so excited to come at first.

She later declined saying “Mexico just isn’t one of those places I really wanted to visit. I want a vacation and all, but ya know, to somewhere else.” Sorry, I didn’t pick a good enough vacation spot for you. Waste of my wedding invitation! 

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