(Closed) "A wedding just isn't our idea of fun"

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Tincangirl:  I’ll take her spot! 😉

Post # 49
Member
2085 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@NauticalDisaster:  lol I put a question mark at the end of that statement on my response bc I wasn’t quite sure if I was reading that right.  I could be wrong lol.  But you’re right too – we don’t know the friend.  I like to give people the benefit of the doubt – but that girl sounds like she’s feeling a bit jealous and just needed to make sure that she could say she wasn’t going before the OP decided not to invite her (if that makes sense) lol

Post # 51
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Tincangirl:  The fact that it’s your 3rd (or 4th?) wedding puts a different spin on it, especially if she has supported you through your other marriages – you must have spent a significant part of your life focused either getting married or getting divorced, which can be hard to related to if you are on another path.

I’m glad you’re working things out with your friend, and your wedding sounds like a blast!

Post # 52
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Bazinga:  Whewwww,  couldn’t have said it better!

Post # 53
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Tincangirl:  Now that she’s said that, how do you feel about paying for a fancy meal and possibly drinks and entertainment for her and her boyfriend?

Post # 54
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Tincangirl:  Yeah, that’s frustrating. A lot of my cousins are this way; a number of them have kids and have never been married, so a wedding seems like this strange, almost frivolous thing to them. Whatever is up with her, it’s not about you. She probably just feels insecure about her own relationship/career/whatever. I would just ignore her; send her an invite when the time comes, but don’t go out of your way to talk to her about it again. 

Edited: Just read your update! That’s kind of an amazing thing for her to admit. Good for you for forgiving her. We all say stupid stuff sometime and it seems like she just had a weird moment.

 

Post # 55
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Whatever happened to just going to a friends wedding being about CELEBRATING YOUR FRIENDS LOVE? Why is it some big deal where she has to blog post vent about it you?

The thing is, just because people have opinions like that doesn’t mean they need to be heard.

Not every thing we think is SO self important and noteworthy that it just has to be said to everyone willing to listen.

Basically, your friend sounds very immature, rude, and thoughtless.

That’s like saying you refuse to go to a childrens birthday party just because you aren’t a huge fan of children.

Part of being an adult is realizing that the world does not revolve around you, and that celebrating things for people is not about you or what you think about the holiday/occasion/etc. It’s about how it makes the person who you are celebrating it for.

Like mothers day. Yes on the one hand mothers day is a contrived holiday. But does it hurt my mom to get her a card that tells her I love her? No, it does not.

It’s the same deal.

 

Post # 56
Member
1382 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

WOW. A pre-emptive email? That goes beyond rude! Completely unsolicited assholery! I’d reply, “I’m so sorry that the mere concept of my wedding put you out so much!” And then not invite her.

Post # 57
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

How important is it to you to have this person there? If they are very special to you and you would feel sad not having them there, maybe write back and explain that you appreciate her honesty (as brutal as the delivery was) and that you dont expect her to change her opinion on marriage but that you value her friendship and would like her to be involved. 

Its possible that once you reveal your plans your friend will see the kind of celebration that you want to hold and why its special to you. 

If you want her there then I hope she rallies up. 

If not, you’ll be far to happy to care anyway having a blissful time at your super fun wedding marrying the person of your dreams! 

 

 

 

Post # 58
Member
76 posts
Worker bee

She sounds jealous, bitter and insecure.  You don’t need her at your wedding. 

Post # 59
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

This chick is a real winner. I love that you never discussed the wedding date, invitation, or anything of the sort with her directly and she decided to email you (which is passive agressive to me). I find it funny when people try to hide how bold and pompous they are from others, as if no one will catch on. She does not sound like a supportive friend in the least. I would start looking for the nearest exit out of that “friendship.” 

Post # 60
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

WOW! I would be clicking delete in everyway of communication. Sounds a little jealous….

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