(Closed) A wedding planner and a fat bridesmaid?

posted 12 years ago in Waiting
Post # 137
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You could have said nearly anything else and people would have said, it’s your wedding, do what YOU want.

But this is horrible. I don’t even know what else to say,

Post # 138
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I think you knew what you were doing by saying “am I being vain?” because of course you are.  Weight affects so many women in so many ways and by thinking of excluding someone from your bridal party shows how “vain” if not shallow it is.  I can’t imagine doing that.  If you love her as much as you claim to, how about loving her for who she is instead of thinking about much she weighs?

Post # 139
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

We’ve gotten a great number of flags about this thread… we’ve left it up b/c of the policy that the community agreed to here:

Policy: How should we handle comments that might offend a group of people?

But I did want to note that I just deleted a comment that referred to a commenter as an “f’ing idiot” who “needs a good slap in the head.”

Please, no personal attacks!

Post # 140
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am a size 16. I have never considered myself an ugly bridesmaid, and I’m certainly not going to consider myself an ugly bride on my wedding day. The prettiest bride I have ever seen was also a size 16. Just because a girl is larger does not mean she is not pretty. If you are very very worried about your wedding party look, remember that a great photographer will know poses and groupings that will show everyone at their best, no matter their size. I’d put some of your energy into finding one and try to put the negativity behind you.

Post # 141
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Thanks Mr. Bee.  That was a commendable move!

Post # 143
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

AKAengr – would you like us to close this thread for you?

Post # 144
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Wow. One of my bridesmaids is a 14/16 maybe bigger and has ALLLLLL the confidence in the world. She is the shit and you can’t tell her any different. I’m a 6/8 and I feel like I’m unhealthy. And trust me if your a size 8 your no stick figure yourself.

I understand being worried about your pictures but think about this….what did she look like as an adolescent? As a teenager? My 14 month old daughter is built like my Mother-In-Law and looks just like her. Don’t be surprised if your children (with a man that hasn’t even committed to you yet) is overweight because of his genetics and yours (size 8 not size 0 remember.)

Have a good day!

Post # 145
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I cannot believe this girls… just close it and delete it…

and id happily sing kumbaya!

Post # 147
Member
1770 posts
Buzzing bee

@AKAengr:  You asked for an opinion and we gave it to you.  I don’t think I attacked you but I attacked the idea of not allowing someone to be your bridesmaid because of weight.  I gave reasons for why women struggle with their weight and why it’s unfair to judge them for it.

EDIT:  My apologies, my first post was rude to you as a person.

Post # 148
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I really think you take the pictures to document the day.  You don’t stage the day to support the pictures.

Post # 149
Member
1596 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I think the rude comments aimed at AKAengr are much harsher than her original posts……

furthermore this site has proved over and over again that if u post something slightly less than over the top pc prepared to be cruicified. People gang up and attack the poster. Which is why people change their id to post what may be considered as controvercial.

So I take it none of you who commented have ever judged someone for the way they look????????

I used to be overweight and I lost 50 pounds and am now a size 2. so have been in both positions. and I am not offended by what she said.

 

Post # 150
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I just wanted to say that although I vehemently disagree with the OP for wanting to exclude someone for being overweight, I think we can all agree that she has handled what has been said about her very well. She asked for honest opinions, she got them, and she handled it like a champ. I appreciate that.

I also really appreciate seeing the new policy about closing threads in action. I don’t think a thread should be closed every time someone gets upset about something someone else says, and I think that everyone being able to state their opinions (whatever they are) is such an important part of this community.

@AKAengr – I know you’ve probably already got a pretty solid answer to the question you asked, I would like to add in one more statement saying that you could seriously hurt her feelings if you don’t include her just because she is overweight. A wedding isn’t about the photos, it’s about celebrating your marriage with the people who mean the most to you. I hope that you reconsider including her in your bridal party!

Post # 151
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m sure I’m not the first to say it – but you did ask for an opinion.

With regards to your Future Sister-In-Law – it is insensitive. And yes, you are being vain and ridiculous.

And not to be rude – but you’re not even engaged yet. So – worrying about bridesmaids and sizes seems pretty silly if you ask me.

The topic ‘A wedding planner and a fat bridesmaid?’ is closed to new replies.

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