i say kudos to you, AK, for having the guts to post this.
now. i’m posting this as a bigger girl (size 14-16, but i’ve never been below a size 10).
i just got back from my cousin’s wedding, and one of my best friends just got engaged.
one of the bridesmaids in my cousin’s wedding looked TERRIBLE. she was maybe a size 12 (where the others were probably size 0-2, including the bride) and the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses were satin and it was so ill fitting on her… it was obvious that the tailor couldn’t handle it after fitting the other model-thin girls. in the pictures, my eye immediately goes to the poor Bridesmaid or Best Man… not the bride, as amazing as she looked. i don’t know if it’s because of my size sensitivity, but it truly does ruin the picture when i look at it, because the focus isn’t the bride – and whenever the Bridesmaid or Best Man isn’t in focus, all i notice are the photographer tricks to make her look smaller – she’s the only one in shadow, she’s jumping off a bench in the jumping pictures, etc.
i’m agonizing over the posibility (eventuality, really) of being asked to be in my friend’s bridal party – she’s about a size 8, our other best friend is MAYBE a size 2, and so are her sisters. she’s set on a certain colour that won’t flatter my skin tone (dusty rose, and i’m super pale), and wants a uniform look. i WILL look out of place, in a BAD way, and i truly feel that i’ll take away from my friend’s big day looking as terrible as i know i will. i currently have a bad back injury (need a wheelchair to walk more than say, 50 steps), and i can’t work out to lose the weight. i’ve been trying to rigidly control my diet in anticipation of this, but it won’t be enough.
so. that being said, it you REALLY want her in your party… i’d tell you to send an email or FB message out to all your close female friends (not just potential bridesmaids) and say that you want help getting superfit for the wedding. plan weekly ‘girly’ events, where you do things like hike or take a healthy cooking class. make sure she’s always invited. play it off like you need her help to keep going. in my situation, i’d love my friend to do that (not that i could participate much at the moment, but still). i’d probably see straight through it, but i’d love her for trying so hard and at least TRYING to put up a front.
to whoever said 18-22 isn’t supremely overweight – i’m a 14-16 and i’m considered morbidly obese. i do have a high muscle mass, so the designation probably isn’t strictly accurate – but i don’t think her Future Sister-In-Law can be healthy at that size. being overweight is terrible for your health, and if you can delude yourself into thinking that 18-22 is ok, then please take yourself to a doctor and educate yourself about the realities of obesity. what you said honestly sounds the same to my ears as ‘it’s not so bad to only have 5 or 6 beers and then drive’… and i don’t think i’m alone.