(Closed) A wedding planner and a fat bridesmaid?

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 182
Member
1596 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@strarlette ..you didn’t call anyone names…and addiction to smoking is nothing like overeating….I lost 50 pounds 2 years ago and a year later I gave up smoking and I can tell u that cutting out rubbish and exercising was alot easier than giving up smoking

Post # 183
Member
267 posts
Helper bee

I have to disagree simpleandchic. You cannot compare your experience with quitting smoking and losing weight to another person’s addictions or struggles. Addictions are different for each and every person. 

Post # 184
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Starlette, I didn’t see you call anyone names, I think she just meant overall there is no reason for it. Meaning that the OP called out on a “fat bridesmaid” and that is where it is coming from. Not that you specifically had called someone a name. This post seems really hurtful, and a lot of women (with given right) feel very vehement about it, because it can affect people in lots of ways. Whether they are a size 0 or a size 20. I know that my case is different, because I am about 6 months pregnant, but everytime I read this it really makes me want to cry.

Some advice was given about if you don’t like it or can’t handle it, then don’t read it. I should have taken that advice as soon as I saw it written, but I kept coming back to see if maybe things between the OP and the future possible bridesmaid had worked itself out, because oh how we love to see happy endings. I really hope that things can work out of the best for everyone involved, and that’s it. I am taking that advice now, and walking away.

Post # 185
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@ MrsBtobe:

if you feel that it’s silly to worry about wedding stuff before having a ring, why don’t YOU move along and skip the posts in the waiting part of the weddingbee site?


Post # 186
Member
656 posts
Busy bee

I just saw this post and you know what..Im not even going to apologize for what im about to say.. this is disgusting. You KNOW your freaken vain.. you didnt need to ask it. If this is how you view the world you’re going to be miserable for the rest of your pathetic life.

A bit of backround on me..My OWN sister didnt have me as part of her wedding part because im a 16/18 and the other 14 (YES I SAID FOURTEEN) girls who were her bridesmaids were her sorority sisters and were all under a size 12. This is something I will resent her for the rest of my life.. my own sister.. Now this is going to be your future family and you are already treating her this way.. Shame on you seriously… now im going to walk away before I say anything I will regret.

Post # 187
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I actually gasped out loud when I read this. I didn’t read through it all but omg.

Just a question- if the bride is “fat” does she ruin her own wedding photos?

Post # 188
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@cherryblossombee – LOL. I never said I didn’t like this thread. I answered the OP’s question and provided my opinion. I can see I hit a touchy subject with you about the not being engaged part. LOL

Glad to see this post is still alive and well 😀

Post # 189
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

(1) There’s a difference between a wedding planner and a DOC.  If your family has plenty of connections and you all have time to plan and an overall vision, then don’t get a planner.  A DOC might be nice to have to just make sure that everything is fine the day of.

 

(2) I picked my bridesmaids because of my relationship with them, not how they look.  (Groomsmen were easier, because we both wanted our brothers included in the WP).  My bridesmaids are three different shapes/sizes and I look way different from them too.  Also, our groomsmen are all white, but our bridesmaids are all different races (white, asian, black) – will our pictures look “off balance” because of skin color?  Do I really care? 

What I do care about is spending my wedding day with my nearest & dearest, and making those who have supported me (and my relationship with my fiance) feel especially welcome and be honored on the big day.  What would seem more “off balance” for me would be looking back at a photo album 20 years later and being “oh… who’s that bridesmaid?  oh wait, that wasn’t a close friend – I just picked her because she was hot.” or having to explain to my future kids that I didn’t select my Future Sister-In-Law (if I had one) because of her appearance.  Is that a lesson that you would want to teach your own children?

I think that if you were to exclude your Future Sister-In-Law now, it’s something that you may really regret down the line.

@portlandbride – I think your bridesmaids all looked beautiful!

 

Post # 190
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@ MrsBtobe:

Yes it a very touchy subject for me and many of us here, but I see that for you is a laughing matter.

Post # 191
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@cherryblossombee – Well my apologies to you then for hitting a sore subject with you. That still doesn’t change my opinion and still doesn’t change my original response to the OP. And yes – to me it still is a laughing matter – all you can do is laugh right? Why take life so seriously when it’s so short to begin with 😀

Post # 192
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I lost 50 pounds 2 years ago and a year later I gave up smoking and I can tell u that cutting out rubbish and exercising was alot easier than giving up smoking

That is nice for you.  I never started smoking cause it’s disgusting, but I don’t harp on smokers to stop in the name of trying to “help” them become more healthy.  I don’t see why it is so hard to just stop buying cigarettes, but I don’t claim to understand.

If I could lose 50 pounds my “cutting out rubbish and exercising” then I certainly would.  However I do not eat rubbish and I exercise as much as I can.  People with bad eating habits always seem to think that I could drop weight if I just quit eating chips, fast food, soda, etc. what they don’t realize is that I already do not eat any of those things and I am still overweight.  At least with smoking you can give it up entirely- I think it’d be much easier to stop eating all together, but that isn’t possible.  

Post # 193
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

For your information a size 8 is not skinny! But that’s besides the point. You are so rude for thinking you’re way above your Future Sister-In-Law who is a size 18. How would you feel if a size 0 or size 2 girl called YOU fat? No one deserves to be judged or belittled based on their appearance. Your wedding is a huge event in your life and you should select people who are supportive and kind to you to be in your party, not people who have the potential to make your wedding photos look gorgeous–that’s just plain superficial and self-absorbed! 

Post # 194
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Surprised I can’t believe that you could be concerned with having your Future Sister-In-Law ruin your wedding photos because she is overweight.

Post # 195
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@anniebear: I don’t think saying “for you information size 8 isn’t skinny” is beneficial to anyone and casts you in the same light as the OP. I’m a size 8 and I am on the low end of a healthy bmi for my height and, in fact, am skinny. 

Post # 196
Member
2220 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

These “Fat Bridesmaid” posts pop up every few months or so… and they get everyone riled up. If you let this bug you, more & more threads like this are going to start showing up!

@rustic: In no way was anniebears comment on the same level as the OP. You said it yourself: Size 8 is a perfectly “healthy” size. I’m sure you look fantastic & I truly mean that!! I would classify skinny as a size 0-4, so I agree with Annie. A size 8 is not skinny. And for the record, I’m 5’9” and a size 10. In the modeling world, I’d be considered HUGE. The “plus sized” models on ANTM are a size 10. Everyones ideas of size/weight differ.

🙂

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