(Closed) A wedding with out a father…

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
827 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s lovely that you want to honor your father, but I just want to say that you should be careful not to turn your wedding into a memorial.  

Post # 5
Member
827 posts
Busy bee

@juiceboxx:  I understand 🙂 .  It just seems like it might be tricky to strike the right balance.  

Post # 6
Member
46376 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it might be perceived as a bit morbid for you to dance by yourself. There are other ways to honor a deceased parent- a candle beside a pic, a flower on an empty chair, a charm with a pic attached to your bouquet.

Post # 8
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@juiceboxx:  I think it’s super sweet that you want in incorporate things he loved into your wedding but besides the steelers I bet the thing he loved most was seeing his daughter happy. So plan your wedding with things YOU love and I’m sure he’ll look down and feel honoured and celebrated. I think playing a songyt hats meaningful to you guys is great but agree that a bride dancing alone might be a little odd. Unless you feel like that’s a moment you need to be alone with his presence, I think other posters have posted ideas that are lovely as well. 

Eta: I always am touched by saving his rightful seat at your ceremony with a photo/candle/flower or if you want to keep it more personal carrying an item of his or that reminds you of him tied to yourbouquet.  Also at weddings I’ve attended where a parent has passed during general dancing a song was sort of just dedicated to the person

Post # 9
Member
827 posts
Busy bee

@juiceboxx:  I would do something like this:

-Photo charm attached to your bouquet (for the issue of him being absent during your walk down the aisle)

-Light a memorial candle at the reception while your daddy-daughter song plays so you don’t have to dance by yourself or with a “substitute” (since it doesn’t take long to light a candle, you could perhaps use the extra time to hold hands with your mother and any siblings you may have and silently pray?) 

-maybe one other small thing

I guess I would just keep it to one public acknowledgement and then have everything else be little things that only you would notice so you can feel his presence.   

Post # 13
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree it would look odd to dance by yourself; is there someone who could stand in for your dad? A brother, uncle. grandfather, another male relative? Or maybe just dance with your mom, that would be sweet too. Personally I would want someone there with me so we could remember together but  if I was there  y myself it would just be a big tearfest.

Other ideas, perhaps your “something borrowed” could be jewelry your dad gave your mom? use his favorite flower, have ome of your menu options or signature drinks one of his favorites.

Best wishes to you! I feel sad for you and I’m sure you will find a lovely way to include him in your day.

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