(Closed) A wedding without bridesmaids and groomsmen?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3254 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If you already asked them, I think you need to keep them as BMs. Imagine if one of your friends asked you to be in her wedding and then told you “never mind.” 

One thing I wish someone would have told me when I first started wedding planning is that the BMs are never going to be as involved as you want them to be. Let’s face it: they aren’t the ones getting married. I did all the DIY projects by myself or with my mom. If that’s the reason you’re wanting to can them, I wouldn’t do it because I think it will seriously affect your relationships with them in the future and I think you will really regret it. 

Post # 4
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

A wedding without bridesmaids and groomsmen = EASY!!! LOL

However, since you already asked, is it going to create friction when you decide not to have them? Will they then feel like they shouldn’t even attend?

Post # 5
Member
3254 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@mwitter80: Agreed.

I think if you originally planned it that way, it would have been totally fine, but I think it will just create more drama and ruin that simplistic vibe you are actually attempting to create. Kicking them out will just leave them feeling awkward and dissed.

Post # 7
Member
3254 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@lovelea: Wow, ours had the same thing happen. We started with a guest list of about 75,  and now we are up to 125 because people kept ASKING if they could come. How do you tell someone who’s so genuinely excited for you that they can’t attend when they are asking if they can? lol We only had five people RSVP with “no’s!” 

I know you say you have talked to them about helping you, but if you don’t have family who can help, maybe you should be real with them and tell them how panicked and overwhelmed you are. Just tell them you know they’re busy, but you’re in over your head and could use whatever time they could possibly give. They may be more receptive if you put it that way…

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