- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
Planning a wedding makes me realize even more how much I miss my parents, especially my Mom. My dad passed away when I was 7, and my mom died when I was 21 (I’m 26 now). And now I am planning my wedding, it kills me that I don’t have my mom there to help me, or to care about how everything is going. I think the hardest thing for me since losing my mom is the realization hitting home that no one cares about you like your parents do. I have wonderful friends who care about me very much, but it’s just not the same. Other people are excited for you, but my wedding is not the center of anyone’s world the way I think it would have been for my mom, who I know would have loved to help me plan it. I know she would have been proud and excited. I am sure I would be posting things about how she was driving me crazy in the planning process, but I would give my right arm to have her here driving me crazy.
My Future In-Laws are very wonderful people and have been so good to me in the 8 years my Fiance and I have been together. They are contributing financially to the wedding and seem very excited. But it’s just not the same. And I try not to get to upset with my Fiance when he talks about how hard it is for him now that both of his parents live out of state and he doesn’t get to see them often. I know that is hard for him, but I have to bite back saying “at least you HAVE your parents.” My feelings about my mom are not usually this acute, but I think wedding planning has magnified it, especially when vendors ask about my parents (ie- father daughter dance, “what does your mom think about your dress?” etc)
This just feels like something that parents are supposed to be there for, and it feels like a part of this whole process is missing for me. Has anyone else lost parents and feel the same way? How did you honor the memory of your parents in your wedding?