(Closed) A weird question

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think it depends on the couple. Personally I would put down some ground rules and as long as the trust was there that they would respect my stance and limitations then no harm done. 

Mind you I also think that only someone REALLY comfortable with themselves and their relationship would be able to deal with it. Not a criticism to people who couldn’t deal but to have the strenght of character to not question why you aren’t “enough” for that person to not have other needs would take alot of backbone and self-worth. 

 

Post # 4
Member
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

There was a thread like this a while ago. I wouldn’t care if my SO was bisexual. Cheating is one thing, but I’m not going to be upset over one’s sexual orientation. If he’s going out with anyone other than me – male or female – then there’s a problem, but the sex of who he is going out with does not matter.

Post # 5
Member
9114 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

If he is actively seeing another man, I’d leave my not-BF.

If he had once upon a time dated another man, I’d stay. No big deal.

Post # 6
Member
1347 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

So you’re ok with gay and lesbians, but not bisexual? That doesn’t make sense to me.

If you don’t feel comfortable with dating a bisexual, I guess that’s your own feelings (not that it really changes anything), but I hope you don’t dislike all bisexuals.

Who he has dated in the past doesn’t really affect your relationship with him. It might be a shock, or a bit weird, but if you love each other and have a fulfilling, healthy relationship, why would you throw that away just because of a past relationship?

If he cheated on you (sorry, was a bit hard to tell whether he dated this guy in the past or was dating him while you were together) then sexual preference doesn’t matter. That is disrespectful and no, I wouldn’t stick around (regardless of who it was with).

Post # 7
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee

If you mean bisexual…. I think it’s a perfectly acceptable sexual preference.  I think it’s a little terrible that you find it to be terrible that someone was born bisexual.  However, that is a blanket statement and I feel that way about anyone, not trying to be mean to you.

If your SO is dating a man while you are with him and you have been together for over a year, that is definitely wrong because that is a sign of infidelity.  That is not acceptable for anyone in any relationship.  Did you straight up ask him if he was cheating on you, though?  Your definition of a date is a little confusing because a hug can be shared by anyone.  However, if you saw him kissing, holding hands and cuddling with someone else, regardless of being male or female, that is super wrong and you should talk to him about that!

Post # 9
Member
1469 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

:/

Post # 10
Member
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I’m confused…

Do you mean that your Fiance has cheated on you by going on a date with someone else? That’s not OK, and it makes no difference whether they dated a man or a woman. In those circumstances, it would be perfectly acceptable to leave.

Or do you mean that Fiance is bisexual, has dated both men and women in the past, and is now in a monogamous relationship with you? Because I think that’s perfectly OK.

What do you mean?

Post # 11
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

That’d be great! If he’s bisexual, that means he picked me out of all the girls and guys!! Honestly, if he’s still with you, then he’s gonna stay with you. Being bisexual doesn’t mean he’s more likely to cheat – just because you like guys doesn’t mean you’re going to just run out and try any guy you find. It’s the same for bisexuals – they’re attracted to people of either sex, but if they’re in a stable relationship, they’re gonna stay there.

If, on the other hand, your partner is asking you for permission to go on dates with men, then I think that’s not okay. Him being attracted to men as well as women doesn’t mean that he’s any less attracted to you.

Post # 13
Member
9114 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I really don’t care what my husband’s sexual orientation is. If he cheats, he’s out. I don’t care with who, or with what.

Post # 15
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Jessicapatterson:  That kind of behaviour clearly isn’t okay. Not only is it keeping something quite big secret from the person you intend to marry, but cheating is never ever okay.

In my mind, though, being bisexual is the same as being attracted to, say, redheads. You might have a preference for redheads, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to rule out anyone that isn’t a redhead, and it doesn’t mean if your partner is brunette, that you’re going to go out and cheat on them with a redhead, simply because they aren’t one.

Even if my partner were attracted to men as well as women, it really wouldn’t matter – he’s still with me. Contrary to popular belief, cheating and sexual orientation do not go hand-in-hand, and my partner is just as likely to cheat on me as a straight male as he would be as a bisexual. If he were to cheat, he would be out on his arse, regardless of his sexuality.

Post # 16
Member
1222 posts
Bumble bee

@Jessicapatterson:  I would be ok with it if my SO was bi, but I would not be ok with him having a guy on the side. He is MINE (that sounds so creepy and possesive to say, but I hope you bees get what I mean) and I don’t share. To me, a relationship is two people (unless agreed otherwise by ALL parties involved), reguardless of how many sexes you’re attracted to!

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