(Closed) A woman officiant?

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

My dad and stepmom had a female officiant at their wedding. The same woman was the officant at my stepsister’s wedding too, and my family is pretty traditional. 

Post # 4
1767 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I’m gonna jump in and defend you before anyone jumps down your throat about stereotypes (it’s happened before!)

We plan on being married by my best friend who is actually a very young woman, but to be honest I had never been to a wedding with a woman officiant until last summer. This is probably because, as you said, it isn’t “traditional” for most of the weddings I’ve been to.

I don’t know how my family will take it. Her age and her gender will probably raise some eyebrows. I don’t care.

If she’s the perfect person for the job, PLEASE do not let traditional roles stand in the way of making your day special. Yes, it may be a little unorthodox in some circles, but it’s your wedding and I think you should do it.

Post # 5
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

My officiant is my female boss. She has officiated a lot of weddings and I can’t wait to hear what she has to say. The only family members who may have a problem with it will more than likely have a problem with the fact that we are not getting married in a church so I’m not too worried about it.

Post # 6
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We have a female officiant. She is a local person who does weddings that we hired (not a family or friend). 

We met with both male and female officiants before we chose one, and I honestly felt more comfortable working with a woman. After meeting and working with us a lot, she is personally writing our ceremony and I feel like it will be written and delivered more heartfelt from her.

Post # 7
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We haven’t decided on an officiant yet, but we know it will be one of our friends, so it might be a woman. My family thinks I’m crazy for having someone who’s not actually a preacher/priest officiate, so I think they would bristle at a female officiant. Though they might think it unusual for years to come, I don’t think they will be offended in the long run, so I don’t care.  You’ll just need to let them know that you *will* actually be married, even if a woman officiates it. ; )

Post # 8
861 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You and your Giant should do whatever makes you comfortable.  If a woman doesn’t fit the bill then find a male officiant! Good luck.

Post # 9
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Our officiant was a female friend (she’s an experienced officiant). It wasn’t a religious ceremony, and if anyone on either side was offended, they certainly didn’t say so.

I guess I don’t fully understand the issue, though – if you’re not having a pastor/priest/rabbi or other religious figure as an officiant, why does gender matter?

Post # 10
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

We hired  a female officiant and I am officating a few weddings for friends this year. Even though I was raised catholic and my  family is catholic no one said a thing about our officiant being a woman, everyone just said how nice the ceremony was. 

Post # 11
4546 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We had a young female officiant for our wedding and she was amazing! Not only did she spend lots of time with us and could relate to us being younger and just married herself, but everyone said what an amazing job she did at the ceremony and how personalized it was to us 🙂

Post # 13
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We had a female officiant and at first I was concerned about how it would look in pictures but then it turned out to be no big deal. No one mentioned it either so I’m guessing they didn’t see much wrong with it.

Post # 14
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

My brother got married by our good family friend who is a woman. There were no issues about it in my family, she did an amazing job!

Post # 15
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I was hesitant to hire the female officiant I found because of my OWN hangups. I guess I just always “pictured” a man with a deep booming voice marrying us (and a moustache?? no idea where I got this mental image from!) and it was hard for ME to imagine a woman marrying me. Then I basically told myself to get a grip; she was perfectly nice, and qualified, and $200 less than the least expensive male officiant had quoted me. I hired her and she’s been totally accommodating so far. I feel I made the right choice.

Post # 16
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

My female cousin will hopefully be officiating our ceremony. We’re not in the least bit religious and neither are most of our families so having a woman officiate isn’t an issue for us. Even if certain family members objected to it, I wouldn’t give a crap. This day isn’t about them, it’s about Fiance and I and who we want to marry us.

One of my best friends was married a few years ago and her ceremony was officiated by a woman though she was also the reverend of the church my friend attends. Her family is nauseatingly religious and they see no problem with having a female reverend/officiant. 

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