Post # 1
Let me start this post off with a little description of myself. I am very simple. I like sales. I am definatly not a fashionista, I am more of a jeans and t-shirts kinda gal. Also, I am a curvy woman, meaning my dress size is in the double digits.
After our engagement, my brother and his wife offered me a wonderful engagement present. They want to fly me to New York and buy me my wedding dress.
I know this is an amazing present and I am completely blown away by their thoughtfulness and generosity.
However, a little part of me doesn’t want this. I can’t imagine trying on dresses without my mom or my sister being there. I can’t imagine wedding dress shopping with my teeny, tiny sister in law who is a fashionista. I hate shopping! I already know I’m going to be looking at plus size dresses and it hurts my heart a little bit to think about doing that without certain people there for support.
I feel like a gigantic brat when I say that I don’t want this. And I couldn’t possibly turn him down because both of them are just so darn excited about this. So, what do I do? Any ideas? Any advice?
Post # 3
Why don’t you see if she would fly to where you live so she join you and your family in dress shopping? I’m sure if you explain to her how it’s important to have your mom there, she will understand… she probably had her’s there when she got her dress.
Post # 5
I wouldnt get into anything too much other than you NEED ur mom there!! I honestly think its a little selfish that she expects you to do it without important people like your mom :-/ (not that u need to say that!) I agree- tell her to come to you! Or go to NY and just do some other wedding stuff there with her!
just so you know I was very emotionally driven by the dress thing too. Some of my girlfriends wanted to come with me, so I let them, But i went to the first store with JUSTmy mom and sisters, simply because I needed that family experience too. Your feelings are very normal and totally valid
Post # 6
Or maybe could your mom and sister go with you? It could be a nice little girl’s weekend. Also, I am not a big fashionista, but have to say that it would probably be pretty fun to be trying on dresses in some of those nice NYC boutiques! As long as your budget would allow you to purchase dresses from there!
Post # 7
I would say what you told us here – that you’re blown away by their thoughtfulness and generosity, but it means so much for you to have your mother and sister there. You can’t leave them out of such a special moment. I think your brother and SIL should understand.
But is there any reason why your mom and sister can’t come along too? I mean, I wouldn’t expect your brother and SIL to pay for their tickets as well, but it could be a really fun trip for you all to take together.
Post # 8
Also- could you ask ur mom and sis to come too?? Since your brother is saving you the money by purchasing the dress, maybe u could use the excess cash and spend it on 2 more tickets!! In reality, NY does have the best selection of dresses and especially if your a plus size bride. Kleinfelds has all those new plus size samples now
Post # 9
@flyinpig3: Those are some great points!
Post # 10
I agree with all of the PPs. If you want your mom and sister there, be honest about it and don’t feel guilty about it, either. The suggest either that your SIL come to you, or that you take your mom and sister with you. If you were planning on buying your own dress, then maybe buying your mom and sis their airline tickets would be do-able instead.
Post # 11
One thing you could do is pre-dress shop with your Mom and sister before this NYC trip. It might make you feel a lot more comfortable after you know what chains carry plus sizes and what shapes and styles you prefer. You can always call the salons in NY ahead of time to confirm they have larger samples available.
I actually sort of did this myself. My entire family (Mom, Gmom, sisters, Out of Town BM’s) came up to NYC for a big trip to Kleinfeld. I was so nervous about how I would look in the dresses that I rushed out with two of my best friends and tried on a bunch of dresses. I was so relieved to find that wedding gowns are actually designed to fit a normal womans body unlike most designer clothing.