Post # 1
Me and my husband got married last year and to this day, I have not forgiven him about not liking pictures. We (I) paged for a expensive photographer because it is sooooo important to me and really is one of the only things we have left (and remember) from our wedding day. He only said we needed 4 hours from start of ceremony to end and I maglde the compromise because he is a minimalist who originally wanted cell phone pictures so he did make a huge compromise for me…But we agreed, set a schedule for photog. Weeks before the wedding and were already on eggshells about it (he hated talking about it) and the day before the wedding he was talking with his dad who is also a minimalist while I was with his mom getting flowers and said “We are here and got to talking about it, and we think 30 minutes for couples photos is way too long and taking time away from us just enjoying the moment and enjoying the time with friends and family”. This threw me over the edge. So basically on our wedding day we were still mad at each other and when we got in the moment I kept saying to the photographers no we don’t need pictures we are enjoying time with our friends and family…I wanted no confrontation or eggs walking on our wedding day and was trying to compromise for him but after not getting pics with my bridesmaid, my family, only a few couples pics and looking out on photos that were really important to me I still resent him and long for the pics we could have had (and paid for) even though it was my fault on the wedding day saying no no it’s ok to the photog. I just wanted to celebrate our love and make our weddi g day meaningful. I just wish this had been discussed before (I thought we came to a compromised) because it basically sent me into a funk. I guess the day before they were looking 9ver the schedule and his dad was like that long away from family and friends for photography??”
Most of it was my fault but it was a so stressful and time crunch I guess our decisions were not the most “logical” but even though it was my doing, I didn’t want him to resent me over it. And now it is the opposite and I feel like there is nothing I can do about it 🙁 We have a fantastic relationship and are doing well and are incredibly happy, this is pretty much the only thing I can’t let go of, especially when I see anyone else’s wedding photos come up online (I try not to look).
Post # 2
I don’t see how this is your fault. Your husband changed his mind basically the day of, and dropped that bomb on you. Why was it up to YOU to tell the photographer “No no we are fine!”?
That was also a lot of money wasted. I’d be angry too.
However, you need to find a way to let go of this anger and move past this. Have you told your husband how you feel?
Post # 3
I’m so sorry bee, this sucks. I suppose it’s too late at this point to retake photos. 🙁
Post # 4
Thank you…It was really the day of and in the moment when I told the photog. No that is enough pictures we are fine… i mean we got pics and his family ended up posing and getting in the middle of the pics/photog but i was so paranoid i kept trying to rush my families and was like no thats enough thats ok its ok, yep way too late now 🙁 It wasn’t that I was scared of my husband or anythi g like that, I just wanted us to feel our wedding day because ultimately it was about us and didn’t want anything bad to come up or us be even a little frustrated with each other. It was too hard to think in the moment though at the same time
Post # 5
Yes, oh believe me he knows how I feel. But we can’t change time.
Post # 6
Have you considered doing an anniversary shoot? It’s not exactly the same, but it will give you additional pictures to love and cherish.
Post # 7
I am sorry that happened on your wedding day. 🙁
I second a PP about maybe having an anniversary shoot. However your partner may not be keen as he seems extremely minimlistc. However he did marry you and needs to compromise so…
Try to find a healthy way to let this anger out btw. Dont let it bottle up. Unfortunately you cannot change the past, but in future dont let him dictate things without your input. You deserve to have what you want also
Post # 8
do you have ONE great picture of that day that you can frame?
If so…that’s really all you need Bee. Think about your grandparents’ wedding, or your great grandparents’. Only one picture makes it to the mantle and then gets passed down right? Pictures of the decor and setting are great for albums but very, very few people ever take their dusty albums out and go thru them.
Holiday pics. Anniversary pics. Easter oics. Spring pics! Find someone good who will do a mini shoot (30 minutes or so) of you two and then get some awesome pictures. Then, since your DH is a minimalist, ask him to buy you a GREAT digital frame. One frame that will show you the whole reel of all the pictures of you 2 that you like. Bam.
Post # 9
Thanks guys 😊 Thats what I am going to try to talk him into doing. Because the wedding day was so stressful and we had this going on, in the moment I kept telling the photog. No. No. No don’t go by the family photo list we don’t need all these pics with family trying to rush it all,because of my rushing and not want I missed getting pics with my mom, my only bridesmaid (sister), my husband and our daughter, but when the moment came his family got all up in the pictures after that fit they threw and here I am freaking out and not wanting to get pics with my own family!!! That’s pretty much my biggest regret is not getting pics with them and I feel like it was all my fault. Lile the photo of me and my sister (bridesmaid) she was too shy to speak up for herself, all she wanted was a picture of the two of us 🙁 so yesterday his mom was like we were looking through the pictures and now wish we had not threw that fit now that we realized how important the pics were. I’m like seriously???? Lol. Hos family is pretty well off and pretty much paid for the wedding and mine have been battling homelessness so the pics (by a professional photographer) meant sooooo much to them but they were too intimidated to speak up for themselves, especially with my trying to rush everyone and say we don’t need them. So ultimately yes it was my fault…my husband tells me he was cooperating and not complaining while we were getting the pics but i wanted to please him so much and wanted to make him happy by cutting the pics short on the wedding day. But he was cooperating, just the argument the day before completely shook me up 🙁
Post # 10
When it comes to SOME men, they just want to get the details out of the way and get married. They don’t care about the color of the table cloths. They don’t care about the crystals on the table. They don’t care about al ot of different things that makes the wedding beautiful. The only thing that you can do now is take anniversary photos or redo your wedding pictures in wedding dress and suit. My fiance, for example, is a very simple man and does not really care about all of the details. He just wants to get married. When I talk about the cost of photos, he recommends letting people take pictures with their phones…lmfaooooooooo…Of course I am not listening to that bull….He has to deal with photos done by a pro and then he can complain later if he wishes. I want heirlooms.