(Closed) Abnormal SAHM experience?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@MrsFuzzyFace:  I think there’s a lot of women who want to be staying at home moms who can’t afford to live on only the husbands income. In this day and age, being Stay-At-Home Mom is considered a luxury to many people. Try not to let I t bother you, sounds like they’re jealous.

Post # 4
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m not a Stay-At-Home Mom yet, but I will be and I know what you mean. For us, we made a very conscious decision to hold off on TTC until we were financially in a place where I could stay home. It was really important to me, even if it meant having our first in our 30s. It’s not luck, it’s a plan! 

I haven’t heard a lot one way or another though– most of my friends are just starting to have kids, and we are all early 30s and mature enough to realize that people make the best decisions for themselves and not for everyone else.

Post # 5
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think for many women, it’s not a choice. Some want to stay home, but can’t afford to live on only one income.  Others want to work, but day care cost exceeds their salary. So, if you made the choice to stay home because it’s what you want and you can pull it off, then you are lucky.  What’s wrong with that?

Post # 6
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@MrsFuzzyFace:  Why can’t it just be a choice?  


It can’t be “just a choice” because it ISN’T a choice for a lot (most, maybe?) people. Money is a finite resource and you need it to live. Most people nowadays need 2 incomes to get by. So if your husband happens to make enough that you can afford to stay home, I’d count that as luck. 

What’s so wrong with smiling in response and saying, “Yes, I feel very lucky!”

Post # 7
Member
14443 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It is ‘lucky’ in that you are fortunate that you can, and you are wealthy enough to an extent.  Maybe not rich and wealthy as definied by most, but enough that you even have the option to stay at home.  Maybe people simply could not no matter how they try to budget and cut corners.  I dont think people really mean anything negative by it.

Post # 8
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

After I had my daughter I wanted SO badly to stay at home with her, but we weren’t prepared and couldn’t afford it at that point.  I did tell some of my Stay-At-Home Mom friends that they were lucky or that I was jealous of them because that’s how I felt.  I wanted to be at home, but we couldn’t make that work for almost two years after our first child was born.

Now that I am finally able to be a Stay-At-Home Mom, I feel incredibly lucky!  We worked hard to achieve this goal, but part of it was also luck: luck that my husband has a very good, stable job, luck that we were able to find a house we could afford in a pretty expensive market, and lucky that my husband supported/encouraged me to pursue my desires to stay at home.  🙂  I don’t attribute anything we’ve achieved to 100% hard work; I think almost everything comes down to a combination of both hard work and luck!

Post # 10
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@AprilJo2011:  “So, if you made the choice to stay home because it’s what you want and you can pull it off, then you are lucky.  What’s wrong with that?”

Agreed.  There are MANY people who want to stay home but aren’t able to because they as a couple will never be able to afford to live off a single income.  So if one half of the couple makes enough to support a whole family on one income, there IS some luck involved there.  If you’re in that position and staying home is what you want – perfect.  But not everyone who wants to be a Stay-At-Home Mom can make it happen.

Post # 11
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

 

@Mrs. Spring:  Agreed!  I hate being at work when my 3.5 month old is at daycare, but right now we cant afford for me to stay home

Post # 12
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Um, I get alot of reations. Usually, ” aw that’s so nice, eh?” I don’t often get judgements one way or the other, or maybe I just don’t notcie and/or care anymore.

Post # 13
Member
864 posts
Busy bee

I’ve heard slams going the other way.  I was at lunch with one of my colleagues who ran into a friend from high school. They were catching up and after hearing that my colleague had her 9 month old in daycare the friend stated “Well, I choose to raise my own children instead of letting a stranger do it. I’m not one of those women who ditches her children so that Mommy can feel fulfilled at work.” I literally spewed ice tea out of my mouth. The bottom line is, we all (will) make the best decisions we can for our families and ourselves given the information and resources that we have at the time. Can’t we end the self-imposed Stay-At-Home Mom vs. working Mom battle and just support each other without judgement because it takes a village…

Be proud of your choices and best wishes!

Post # 14
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Cash000:  Tehehehe, do people really put “eh?” at the end of that sentence?  Because that is so awesome!

Post # 15
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Mrs. Spring:  

Yeah, usually. We’re Canadian!

Post # 16
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

It’s NOT a choice for most people, especially in this economy. If you are blessed enough to not have been touched by this recession and it’s only a thing that “happens to other people”, count yourself damn lucky and hope it never happens to you. 

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