(Closed) Abortion (Childfree by choice bees only please)

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Would you get an abortion if you found out you were pregnant?
    yes : (220 votes)
    38 %
    no : (251 votes)
    44 %
    not sure : (103 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 227
    704 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I’ll just say I was on the fence about abortion til I had one.

    Just out of college, working part time, never wanted kids, there was no way I was going to be a parent, and I think the word “adoption” gets thrown around too loosely – that’s an answer a lot of people throw out without really knowing anything about it.There’s a million other reasons why I decided to abort and it would take a novel to organize what was going through my mind at the time.

    I don’t regret my choice at all. I regret having to make the choice in the first place, but ultimately going through with it, I think it was the best option for me and now I am staunchly pro choice.

    I think the big hurdle was Fiance because he really wanted me to keep it and it caused our only major fight because he was trying to support me but it was hard. There were 2 old people protesting outside the clinic when we left and when we got home he asked about them. So I began explaining them and how some people think it’s wrong. He interrupted with “Of course nobody likes it! You’re murdering a baby!” I immediately left the room and started crying and he chased after me and listened to me dump all my feelings and how he either had to support me all the way or not support me at all, not agree to drive me to the clinic and then call me a murderer. He apologized and was 100% amazing through the rest of the ordeal. I honestly can’t even begin to describe how thankful I was and still am for the way he handled things. And he doesn’t hold a grudge or any regrets, either.

    I’ll get off my soapbox soon but the biggest point I want to make is you don’t have to be pro abortion to be pro choice. People may not agree with abortion or want one themselves but they may agree that a woman needs to make that kind of decision on her own and she shouldn’t have to be forced into an unwanted pregnancy and I think that’s an issue that needs to be examined when deciding a stance on this view. 

    Post # 228
    2696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m CBC ( pretty sure there, anyway!) and pro-choice, but I don’t think I could have an abortion. I want the choice to be there for other women but it’s personally not something I would ever do in my own life, unless I came on really, really hard times.

    Post # 229
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I am CBC at this time because I am only 23 and want to wait for children until I am 29 or so… but if I got pregnant I would not have an abortion. 

    Post # 230
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I think people should be able to choose abortion if they want to. My partner and I have similar stances. For me personally, it depends on many factors. I can’t say that I would or would not for sure have an abortion. At least half of the medications I’m on currently aren’t not safe to be on while pregnant so that definitely would influence me.

    Post # 231
    297 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I know this thread is a week old but I’m just now getting around to seeing it. I am in no way what-so-ever passing judgement on any of you ladies for your beliefs or past experiences,etc.

    I am 31 and not until a couple of years ago did the thought of wanting a child, even cross my mind. Actually, I couldn’t stand kids or anything about them. I didn’t care for all of the aftermath, if you will. Saggy breasts, stretch marks, post-partum, yadda yadda. 

    My Darling Husband has a daughter, I have a stepdaughter. I adore this child to no end and would do anything for her. I’ll admit, it was almost a deal-breaker for me when I found out my Darling Husband had a daughter when we first started dating. Long babble short…I have in the last couple of years, grown an attachment to her and the want to have a child of my own. I can’t say this has anything to do with my age now but I KNOW there was no way I could have shown love to a child when I was younger as opposed to now.

    So, I was just wondering if any of the PP’s think their choice to CBC has anything to do with how they feel about their life now and if they think it’s possible they could change their minds when older. Again, I am not judging, I would just like to hear an honest answer/opinion.

    Post # 232
    6294 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014


    My choice to be CBC has very little to do with my life now. My choice to be CBC stems from the fact I do not like children and am not at all maternal, and cannot see this changing. It is also down to how I see my future: and children most definitely do not feature in that future at all.

    When I think of a future without children, I feel happy, content, and ‘complete’. When I think if a future with children, I feel panicky, frustrated, and kind of empty.

    Someone asked if I would feel differently if I suddenly became etxremely wealthy; my answer was no. Finances and so on have very very little to do with my choice; they are more of a side issue than the main reason I don’t want children, which is quite simply that I do not like or want them, and hate the thought of a future with them in my life.

    Post # 233
    762 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I am pro life. I am a firm believer in not using abortion as a form of birth control, sorry to offend any of you or cause controversy.  If my husband and I were to get pregnant now, yeah it would be tough, but no way would I get an abortion. I would always wonder what that child would have looked like, what kind of personality they would have and what they would have aspired to be when they grew up. I think it would be selfish of me to have an abortion because of this “inconvenience” because it wasn’t “The right time for me to have kids” I don’t think I would ever forgive myself, to give up a life because I was inconvenienced.

    Post # 234
    297 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @barbie86:  Thank you for your honest answer. I think instead of people trying to talk you into having a child or pounding you with questions of why you don’t want to have children; you’re doing the more mature/responsible thing not to. If you feel you don’t have the maternal instinct and you dislike children…why have them?

    When I think of having children, I get a little panicky as well. But, for a different reason you do. It’s more of a…a little vunerable life in my care…type of panic.

    I think there are thousands, possibly millions of women that feel the same way you do, I just think they “do what a women is supposed to do”.

    I couldn’t respect you more. 🙂

    Post # 235
    390 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Im pro-choice up to 8-12 weeks. I could never get an abortion myself but i dont pass judgement on anyone who does because you never know what someones situation is. I’m also not CBC, when me and my Fiance get married we are going to start TTC right away. I also do not support abortion as a form of BC.

    Post # 236
    1348 posts
    Bumble bee

    I call myself a CBC because I do not want any biological children, if I ever change my mind- I will adopt but I will not contribute to the massive amount of people on earth. There are too many children that need homes and I would feel terrible bringing a life into the world when there are so many children that would love a home.


    I would definitely abort.

    But if I was “I didn’t know I was pregnant” and delivered unexpectedly I would keep the child because I wouldn’t want someone else to take my child in place of another that could need help.


    Post # 237
    1643 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Im not “CBC” — I’m just child-free-right-now-by-choice0-


    I definately want children in the future, just not yet.  I had a pregnancy ‘scare’ about 6 weeks ago, and I knew right then that I would get an abortion….  just purely because I’m not ready yet, I want to be married first…  and I’m due to be married in 7 months and you can’t fly in your third trimester, so that would mean no wedding!! 

    People should be totally free to make their own choices, and although an abortion definately should not be used in place of contraception, we all know the only thing that is 100% effective against pregnancy; is abstinence – and what a boring life that would be!!!!  😉

    Post # 238
    1238 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    When I lived in Japan I was very saddened to find out the pill and emergency contraceptive pill are illegal even though so many women wish they could have access to it so for many women abortion is their only means of birth control.  Some I heard had 10 – 12 abortions.  My own grandmother had many (up to 10) we found out after her death but she lived a very sad life after being physically, mentally and emotionally (and possibly sexually) abused by her husband and died young of cancer.  She had 5 children also. I am childless by choice (at the moment and I am mid 30s).  But if I got pregnany accidentally I would have the child, I wouldnt have an abortion at this stage of life.  I dont think I am very fertile anyway as I have endometriosis and have only ever once had a preganancy scare and it was negative. 

    Post # 239
    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’m CBC. But i think if I did get pregnant, I would NOT have an abortion. My beliefs are against it and personally I’m not sure if my childless-lifestyle would be worth sacrificing the life of an unborn child. 

    I’m not against those who do get abortions or are pro-choice. I just wouldn’t get one myself.

    Post # 240
    4371 posts
    Honey bee

    @traveller:  That’s crazy! I had no idea that they can’t get BC in Japan. Seems very backwards for such an advanced country. 

    Post # 241
    51 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2011 - Blossom Heath

    I think that every woman has the right to choose. I agree it’s not a form of birth control but sometimes it’s a choice that needs to be made.

    I have been with my husband since I was 17 and we are now 29 even though we didn’t get married until last year. We found out I was pregnant when I was 24 days after my birthday but I had just lost my job and didn’t know when I would get another one and he was still a full-time student so having a baby at that time was not a good idea. I don’t regret it because it was the right choice and when I think about how much I struggled over the last 5 years when it was just me I am grateful for my choice.

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