- 10 years ago
- Wedding: January 1991
I was just marveling how a thread about *gasp* including registry information can turn into a bloodbath, but one on something as sensitive as this is the very picture of netiquette.
I have only known one person who had one. It was the best choice for her at the time, and it was definitely hard. I also know one girl who gave her child up for adoption (her situation was different as she was not sure who the father was) and that was much harder, she had undiagnosed post-partum (no one was looking because she just went back to school) and attempted suicide. She’s much better now, but she has been conflicted over if she made the best choice.
This is never a choice that is easy to make and I am glad to see MTV is stepping up a bit.
Different user name than I usually post under, but I at least wanted to share.
I had an abortion. I was 19, about to turn 20, and I was in a very unstable relationship. When my SO at the time found out, he said he wanted absolutely nothing to do w/ a baby, nor would he want anything to do with me if I chose to keep the baby. My parents are super devout Catholics, and I could not stand the idea of having to go and tell them I was pregnant, and facing their judgment and disappointment. I have also always wanted to be a mom, always, always, I love babies and kids, and I knew I would never be able to carry a child and give birth to a child and then give the baby up for adoption. I also knew there was no way I could support a child on my own, nor did I want to subject a child to the tumultous, negative relationship I had w/ my SO at the time, and the negative environment we created.
Before I got into the situation, I would have said I’d never have an abortion. But when you’re staring it in the face…it was NOT an easy decision, nor was it easy to live through and deal with. Hardly a day goes by I don’t think about it, I wouldn’t exactly say I regret it, but it’s not something I’m proud of, either. However, I am glad I didn’t bring a child into an unhappy environment where I couldn’t provide a good life.
Hopefully, I will be able to welcome multiple children into this world when the timing is right w/ my now Fiance.
Oh, and I do think 1 in 3 sounds about right. In addition to myself, I know 3 other women close to me that have had elective abortions, and “know of” several others, too.
1 in 3 sounds about right to me–i’ve known a couple of people who have had an abortion, but I can only imagine that more people have had them and choose to be very hush hush about it. I had a D&C awhile ago (for my endometriosis) and my doctor was telling me how frequently she does them, that they are very common. I know there are particular circumstances (luckily most of those are past me at this point in my life) where it would have been an option for me and I fully respect anybody’s choice to either have one or not have one. But I imagine many women choose abortion when their fetus has a chromosomal defect, they have an ectopic pregnancy, or multiples. It’s more than just “i can’t have a baby right now” and i wish more light would be shed on the situation. Once my sorority did a “secrets” day and we all wrote on papers and posted them in a room. there were a few “i had an abortion in high school” papers floating around. I went to high school in a pretty conservative area, though, so I tend to think that having babies as teenagers was more common, though.
I was wondering if this statistic included miscarriages that require a D&C.
I know one of my close friends she had three abortions after she had her daughter when she was a teenager. It was the hardest thing she had to do and killed her each time. I’m sorry for those of you who have gone through it I know it was far from easy.
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