Post # 1
Thirty-nine days. THIRTY-NINE DAYS. And what happens? My FSFIL (future stepfather-in-law) decided to tell my Future Mother-In-Law this morning, via text, that he is leaving her.
First: What a jerk. Fiance and I have been keeping tabs on her today and asked her to let us know if she needs anything, but we might bring her some food soon.
Second: I hate to say it, but one of my first thoughts was, “OMG, what are we going to do about food at the wedding?!” See, my in-laws were going to pay for the food, and he was going to barbecue. Pretty sure that’s out the window now since she’ll have to start paying all the bills alone, not to mention taking care of their six pets. We are on a super-tight budget, to the point where we considered canceling or postponing the whole shebang until I came up with a buttload of cost-cutting ideas. Then my mom gave us a bit more of a monetary gift than we were expecting, but still… every cent already spent, you know?
And they were going to let my dad, who’s flying in with my mom, stay in their camper behind our house so he wouldn’t have to pay for a hotel room. But FSFIL is going to be living in it for the foreseeable future, so now Fiance and I have to figure out how to procure a twin bed or something to wedge into our tiny house… how will we pay for it, how will we transport it… ARGH.
We aren’t bothering my Future Mother-In-Law with all this crap, of course. Just a little panicked, is all!
Post # 3
@automaticflowers: Ahhh, and so it begins. I too am expecting all the various shoes to drop myself.
1) Can pops camp in an actual tent? Twin air mattresses aren’t half bad, I’m sure you can squeeze him in. Slumper party!
2) Perhaps Future Mother-In-Law has already set aside the funds regardless of what happens with her dick of a soon-to-be-ex.
3) This is why some genius (or asshat, depending on how you feel about it) invented a line of credit.
4) Are you comfortable renouncing gifts and requesting potluck help?
5) Poor, poor Future Mother-In-Law. What a douche…but at least now he won’t be in all the pics! 😉
Post # 4
My dad is getting up there a bit in years, I wouldn’t want to ask him to sleep in a tent or on an air mattress, unless we can get one of those taller ones. Not a bad idea to look into, thanks!
Future Mother-In-Law isn’t exactly good with money. The way they talk about being broke I’m not sure if they’ve set anything aside at all. Been trying to corral him to discuss side dishes/fundage/etc., but the dude is never home. Thank dog we’re having a tiny wedding. If we can’t swing the cost ourselves I’ll look into the credit thing, bummer though it may be.
If our wedding were close to home we could do a potluck in lieu of gifts, but it’s six hours from here, kind of a semi-destination wedding. So I wouldn’t really feel comfortable asking people to pitch in with food – or only eat hors d’oeurvres – after traveling all that way.
And yes, douche-tacular parades should be held in FSFIL’s honor. We could put him on a float and let people throw tomatoes at him. Because Imeanreally. Who ends a marriage via text?
And I hope your last 40 days is as drama- and inconvenience-free as possible! We’re almost there!
Post # 5
Let the word get out a bit in your circle of family and friends what your needs are. I promise you these people want to help out, so let them. You don’t know yet who might volunteer to barbeque or host your dad.
So sorry for your Future Mother-In-Law. That is just awful.
Post # 6
Wow what a rotten guy to break up via text! definitely sounds like everyone will be better off without him.
Maybe you can let our dad sleep in your bed and you can sleep on the couch or tent? It won’t be too long.
As for food, you could do a small plates reception (lots of appetizers) or a cake and drinks re emotion?
I plan on small plates, I think it’s cute stuff like crackers and cheese, build your own pizza, s’more station, etc.
Post # 7
Wow, I am so sorry but I am sure it will work out *hugs*
Post # 8
How large is your guest list? Many BBQ places cater events and it’s very reasonably priced. I know, probably not what you want to hear, but many of them will cater for the $15-20/pp range.
I’m not normally an advocate of going into debt for a wedding, but in a case like this I would consider finding a way to do inexpensive food (like BBQ) and putting it on a credit card and paying it off over time. Honestly, I’d hate to see you postpone/cancel because you’d probably end up losing MORE money in deposits and things you’ve already paid for than what you’d spend in food on a CC.
Post # 9
ProfessorGirl: Thanks! I think once the dust settles a little bit I might do that. Future Mother-In-Law hasn’t been very chatty about what’s going on, understandably, so we’re not sure if she’s done with him permanently or if she’s going to try to get him back.
Summer: I LOVE the build-your-own pizza idea! That sounds like so much fun! Unfortunately we asked guests on our RSVP card to choose grilled chicken, hamburger or hot dog (I know, those laid-back options looked funny on an RSVP card, but who cares). We wanted to know roughly how much meat to buy.
armychica: Thank you!
starfish: About 55 people invited, maybe 20 will show? Not everyone has returned their RSVPs; hopefully with the deadline being next week more of them will get on that. I’ll scope out some restaurants in the area and see what’s the what and how it compares cost-wise to our original BBQ plan. Thanks!