(Closed) about my MOH???

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree that it takes two people to make a friendship.  I’ve done the same thing before, where a friend stops calling me or dropping by and I feel like I’m the only one holding up the friendship, and I usually let the friendship die just like the other person is doing.  Two more chances sounds like a good idea.

Post # 4
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

A freindship should go both ways. I’m sorry you have to deal with something like this. My sugestion (although it might not sound good) is to do what you feel is right. Maybe ask yourself some questions like…Do you see her doing all the things that are expected of a maid of honor? do you think she’ll be there for you when you need someone to talk to? Maybe call her and ask whats up. You have plenty of time before your wedding to figure this out. But I don’t think its time to make any conrete decisions about her. I could be wrong, maybe you’ve made up your mind and you just need some input to help make your decision. I know I tend to do that sometimes on here, to get aperspective from the outside. Good Luck!!

Post # 6
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My mom has had one best friend for 25 years.  She occasionally jokes to my dad that this lady is her soul mate and after he dies, this lady is moving in and they plan on being old lady in a nursing home together.

A few years back I noticed that my mom hadn’t mentioned anything about her BFF in awhile and I asked her about it.  She said that she felt she was always holding the friendship together, she was the one who called, who emailed, who made plans.  And she wanted to see whether her BFF would reach out to her to try and sustain the relationship if my mom wasn’t doing these things.  It had been 1 month and they hadn’t spoken at all and my mom was heartbroken.

A month later my mom told me they were going to NY for the weekend and I asked her if the BFF had finally broken down and called.  My mom said no, actually she’d had a long internal conversation and she’d realized she wanted to have her BFF in her life and if that meant she made the calls, she was willing to do that.  Once she finally called, do you know what the BFF’s response was? “I wondered why you hadn’t called me”.

Anytime I hear of people saying “I’m dropping this friend because they don’t try as hard as I do” I think of that story.  Having her BFF in her life makes my mom happy, who cares if she has to put in more ‘work’ to make the relationship work?  What she gets from that relationship has nothing to do with who calls who first. 

If this girl is like/has been like a sister to you – are you really willing to just let that go because she ‘failed’ your 2 chances rule?

Post # 7
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Have you asked her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor yet? If not, I would hold off until closer to the wedding. I think you need to tell her how you are feeling instead of keeping it bottled up. Sahsabahs has a point. Are you willing to lose someone so close because you have to work hard? Yes. A friendship takes 2 people. But are you going to be happy if she fails your 2 more chances?

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