Post # 1
I guess I am not really looking for advice per se, just needed a place to vent.
My wedding is in June and I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off to get things done and paid off. I have been super duper stressed lately, and haven’t received much help from my “friends” as they all seem to be wrapped up in their own world. Whatever, I don’t ask them for anything because I always feel like I am putting them out when I do, so I stopped including them in my DIYs and such.
Today one of my friends whose wedding I’m in a few months after mine just announced that she can not afford a cateror and is asking if the bridal party can make the reception food as a favor to her. I was then asked to make a somewhat difficult and time consuming dish for 100 people. I hid my annoyance with her and said I would do it but deep down I am PISSED. This girl has done nothing to help me with my wedding and has not even asked me how things are going yet I am expected to pay for a dress, pay for my hair, nails and makeup to be done, throw her a shower (which I will have to make food for, buy decorations for and offer up my place to have) buy her a shower gift, throw her a bachelorette party and now make food to feed her 100 guests. Seriously??
I think I am about to lose it.
Post # 3
hugs…she should have asked her family to make the food not the bridal party…
Post # 4
I would kindly tell your friend that you are not able to make food for 100 people and back out. There is no way I would do that for someone who just sprung that on me, especially if they obviously aren’t that close of a friend.
Post # 5
WOW, do you have any previous experience in food catering? I can’t imagine cooking one simple thing for 30 people, let alone a HUNDRED.
What is she asking you to make? If it’s something that has to be kept cold or warm, how is she going to prepare all of it and keep it safe to eat? I would back out (and run away).
Post # 6
yikes!! That’s a big responsibility!! Most venues have rules about it only coming from licensed caterers. What if someone gets sick or something?? Who’s going to prepare the food on the day of?
Post # 7
Ugh, I know. It’s a mess. She is asking me to make a hot pasta dish. Apparently it is in a hall that has a kitchen with an oven where she will keep it sitting.
Just thinking about it makes me want to break out in a hot sweat. I hate to hurt her feelings and say no but when is enough enough?
Post # 8
That sounds horrific and really unrealistic of her to expect. Wow.
I have no advice, but I’ve never heard of a bride asking people to make the reception food for 100 people.
Post # 9
@PinkMagnolia: Perfect way to back out! Tell her you do not want to take the risk as you could be held liable if someone were to get sick. I actually held back a lol at work for this post. A friend of mine’s mom almost nixed my mom from the bridal shower list. Mind you we’ve known this girl since for uh 20 some years. Then she had the nerve to ask me if my mom would make cookies for the reception. I told her no and never asked my mom. I found it beyond rude.
Post # 10
Wow, that is amazingly inconsiderate of her! I don’t blame you for being pissed, I would be, too. I would have to seriously think about backing out of that one, lol. IMO it is not the bridal party’s obligation to pay for or prepare the food for a wedding, that is the responsibility of the bride and groom. Are you going to go through with it? Yikes . . . what do the other members of her bridal party think about this?
Post # 11
@jpalm13: That is rude…I swear, people just don’t think.
@PinkMagnolia: That is GREAT advice and I never even thought about that!! Good thinking, and thank you!!
Post # 11
You should have said no. I know, hindsight is 20/20, and you’re probably a generous person like me. But, throughout this wedding process, I’ve learned who my real friends are. I have vowed to myself that I will no longer be doing favors for people anymore, because they have all been MIA for me during this stressful time in my life.
Post # 12
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
@PinkMagnolia: Yep- most of the venues we looked at had strict rules about food having to be made in a commercial kitchen.
@Legallyblondiebride: This is not cool. Unless you have a catering background, and even then- you’re in the wedding, you’ll have enough going on. I’ve been to wedding where the catering was from Subway. There are other options available. LIke Goldfish Pie asked, how are you supposed to transport and keep it hot or cold? This is a disaster waiting to happen.
Post # 13
@Pinksapphire: Isn’t that the truth!! I could kick myself for agreeing but I felt so put on the spot and flabbergasted.
@Sunfire: The thing of it is, her bridal party is only two other girls and they seem totally fine with it. But, I’m not sure if maybe they are hiding their feelings like I am so not to seem like a huge bitch or what. For all I know they could be fuming about it too.
Post # 14
They are just now realizing they can’t afford food?? My wedding is in Nov and I feel like I need to scramble to get the big(i.e. expensive) things taken care of first. Where is this wedding? there have to be some affordable food options.
Post # 15
Is she paying for the ingredients or is that supposed to fall on you, too? I would have flat out said no. It is not her BP’s responsibility to feed her guests. If anyone should be slaving away in the kitchen for days prior to her wedding it’s her. I’m actually kind of annoyed for you! lol