about to buy a house, boss wants it only under my name, fair for husband?

posted 3 years ago in Home
  • poll: Should I look more into this advice?
    yes, you never know what the future will bring : (12 votes)
    8 %
    no, this might bring unnecessary marital problems : (130 votes)
    87 %
    maybe, let me explain : (7 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 91
    Member
    40 posts
    Newbee

     

    Depending on what the laws are in your state, and whether you have a pre/post nuptial agreement, even if your husband is not on the mortgage/title, he is entitled to 50% of all assets.

    Whatever bad experience your boss or a family member went through, was his experience, doesn’t mean it will happen to you. He is crossing a line if this is an ultimatum to get a house at cost.

    Post # 92
    Member
    8919 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    graduatebride :  “my friend’s husband had his house in his name only” — Did he buy the house before or after they got married?

    Post # 93
    Member
    281 posts
    Helper bee

    homeownertobee :  I would say yes and save the money. The only time the ownership makes any difference is if you divorce. Ideally this would never happen and therefore you’re just saving money!!

    If it makes you feel better then put in place an agreement is between your husband and you – that if you do divorce, you split 50/50 (so buy him out in cash or pay in installments / whatever) your boss never needs to know. They won’t be checking your bank statements. 

    Post # 94
    Member
    12294 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    This is not an inheritance or an asset you had coming into marriage, it’s a bonus from your job. As such, your H would typically have 50% interest in it in a community property state. Any post-nuptial move to exclude him specifically is IMO very unfair, just as it would be if the situation was reversed. 

    If you are not at this point 100% secure in your marriage, and I realize you’ve said no such thing, that is a different matter. Of course a move like this could soon become a self fulfilling prophecy in that situation. 

    I have friends whose homes are in their names alone, but usually for estate planning reasons or concerns their spouses have about being sued personally or professionally. And at the suggestion of the other spouse, never as a result of lies and manipulation. 

    I’m glad to hear you are no longer considering it.

    Post # 95
    Member
    551 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I’m not going to bash you or your boss, OP, but this does not sound like a good idea. It sounds like your boss is trying to cut your husband out of something that he would otherwise have a stake in (if you purchased any other house together obviously your husband’s name would be on it as well). It concerns me a little that the first thing you did wasn’t talk it through with him. I’m pretty confident in saying I’d be LIVID if someone made an offer like this to my husband and he didn’t bring it up with me immediately.

    From your husband’s perspective, I can’t think of any reason on God’s green earth why he would help you qualify for and contribute to payments on a home that you’re clearly trying to keep all for yourself if your marriage goes sideways.

    It’s not worth the risk to your marriage to even tell him that you were considering this.

    Post # 96
    Member
    9216 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    anonbbee :  wrong.  i live in a seperate property state.  so anything that was mine before marriage is is mine if the marriage should dissolve.

    <h2>How Is Marital Property Treated?</h2>

    Marital property is treated as either community or separate property – and how it will be treated is dictated by state law.

    <div style=”padding: 0px 0px 5px;”> </div>

    Whether you live in community property or separate property state depends on where you are domiciled. There are nine community property states; the remaining states are separate property states. In community property states, community property is generally shared equally between spouses, regardless of the source of the property. However, married partners in community property states can also have separate property – for example, if they owned it before entering into the marriage.

     What Is Separate Property?

    <div class=”shortlist”>

    • Property that you or your spouse owned separately before your marriage
    • Money earned while domiciled in a non-community property state
    • Property you or your spouse received as a gift or inherited separately during your marriage
    • Property bought with separate funds or exchanged for separate property during your marriage
    • Property that you or your spouse agreed to convert from community to separate property through an agreement valid under state law
    • The part of property bought with separate funds (if part was bought with community funds, and part was bought with separate funds)
    • Generally, debts that originated prior to marriage are considered separate property

    </div>

    Post # 97
    Member
    9595 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I would be massively offended if my husband suggested we buy a house with OUR money and only put it in his name.

    Post # 98
    Member
    6839 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2016

    ajillity81 :  But…they’re already married. And they’re using joint funds to purchase and pay for it. So this wouldn’t apply to this new house anyway. 

    Post # 99
    Member
    1056 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    Honestly are you concerned at all that you may get divorced one day?

    If you aren’t, then thank your boss but politely tell him you do not have any concerns with regards to divorce and any house you buy will include him. Why do you need to do this if you aren’t getting divorced? If your boss will still give you the deal with your husband’s name on it, then why would you consider NOT putting his name on the house if you aren’t concerned you may get divorced one day?

    If you do think that there is a possibility that you may get divorced one day, then that is probably something you need to work through in your marriage. I personally don’t think anyone should enter into a marriage or ESPECIALLY conduct themselves in a marriage as if divorce is something they believe might happen one day. 

    Obviously things happen that you can’t predict, and some people feel more comfortable with something like a prenup, but at the same time, if you choose to be married to someone, then you have to choose to share your life with that person. What is the point of being married if you keep aspects of your life separate just in case you divorce one day?

    Post # 100
    Member
    1909 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    jcent :  Agreed! 

    OP

    A marriage is a partnership. What you’re proposing is very one sided. Yes your job is the reason for the $50k discount, but you will still have a mortgage payment which I’m sure you’re expecting your husband to contribute to. Unless you can qualify for the house alone and will make the mortgage payments yourself, not including your husband on the title is wrong and shouldn’t be entertained. Also, even if his name is not on the title, that doesn’t necessarily disqualify him from any claims. You need to consult with an attorney if you want to pursue this. But I think it’s a terrible idea.

    Post # 101
    Member
    1909 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    ajillity81 :  She’s already married, so that’s not comparable to your situation of owning a home prior to marriage. Also regarding your inheritance comparison, an inheritance is a gift. This house is not a gift, she is getting a discount and will still have a mortgage on it. Therefore payments will have to be made, and unless she will make the payments herself, her husband needs to be involved.

    Post # 102
    Member
    393 posts
    Helper bee

    homeownertobee :  your marriage should always come first, regardless of how much money you could be saving by your boss letting you have the house at cost. If this was switched and it was your husbands boss making the same offer but he would have to leave your name off the house, would you be ok with it? Have you talked to your Darling Husband about this?

    Post # 104
    Member
    17 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    TheGridMonster :  that’s not true, she was just looking for advice.

    I think far too many women fail to financially protect themselves in the name of “love”.  I believe in love but also believe in prenups.

    Her boss also did NOT make her husband’s name (not)being on the house a condition of the gift.  

    This kind of thinking is archaic and really cynical.  First you blame the boss then you say the OP was looking for a pat on the back?  Please, this is why women get a bad name.  Is so frustrating watching women give each other poor financial advice.  Instead of looking at the entire picture the “heard” picks a small section and attacks it.

    Post # 105
    Member
    17 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    homeownertobee :  this could be an amazing financial opportunity for you and your husband.  You can have your lawyer draw up any type of agreement that would make you both feel comfortable.

    Try not to listen to these cynical women.  I bet your husband would be blown away with this generous offer.  Just make sure you have the proper paperwork that makes you both comfortable.  Good luck 🙂

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