Post # 1
Sorry Bees, I need to vent! We met with photographers 2 months ago. We decided on a photographer 1 month ago. We have still not signed the contract!!!! I’m going crazy! And I want to meet with more DJ’s, but my Fiance keeps stalling. He wants input, so he wants to come with, but the problem is that he never has time! He’s a teacher, and is currently also getting his masters degree. I truly understand that he doesn’t have time left over for wedding planning, but I don’t know what to do. I feel like every decision takes 2 months, and at this rate we won’t get anything done.
Is anyone else in the same boat? I’m not sure if I should just chill out, or continue to spaz out. Well spazzing out is not helping anyone. I just don’t know what to do!
Post # 3
It’ll be okay. Calm down, and ask youself what you can do right now that will help move the situation along. If there’s nothing, find a distraction. I think some of the girls on the waiting board may have some advice on being insistant without being obnoxious 🙂
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
Explain to him that there are certain things that need to be done before others and at a certain point in the timeline and stress that you understand he’s busy and that’s fine can he trust you to make the decision and sign the contracts on your own? Wedding planning needs to continue even if he doesn’t have the time to help with everything, luckily you do!
Post # 5
Set up a timeline/checklist of what needs to be done. Also, try and have the information (cost, what is included, payment schedule, etc) on hand so he can evaluate each vendor without having to do too much research on his own. The other thing is budget. My Fiance was stalling initially because he was worried about funding our wedding, but since we’d sat down and talked about our budget it’s been smooth sailing. Hopefully this helps, good luck.
Post # 6
It’ll be ok! We didn’t officially sign the contract for our photographer until 3 months before. The Darling Husband didn’t understand how fast photographers around here book up; and, we were forunate our photographer wasn’t booked for our date. Sit your Fiance down and calmly talk to him about what needs to be done. If your Fiance is anything like mine, he needed me to take the reins and handle it on my own.
Post # 7
Does he really need to be so involved? Since he’s so busy, tell him to let you take the lead on wedding planning and trust your judgment. Also explain to him that the longer you have to wait, the fewer options you’ll have.
Post # 8
That sounds frustrating. How about you make a list of things that need to be done in the next 3 months, then have him pick a few things he’d like to help with. That way, he can help with things that are really important to him, and you can get everything else done quickly.
Post # 9
I would definitely try as hard as possible to explain to him that you really need to get certain things booked as soon as possible, because if you don’t book them, someone else may! Also, try sitting down when he does have a spare moment and showing him the vendor you want to book (if he hasn’t seen their work or met with him) and hopefully that along with your input can allow you to move forward even if he can’t physically meet with them. 🙂
Post # 10
Thanks bees. He still wants to review the contract for the photographer. I think I need to bring it with me on our next date, and read it there with him. He wanted to wait to see if his mom wanted to be involved, but she is a busy lady, and told him that I have a handle on things. Then our next adventure begins with finding a DJ. There are only 2 DJs I want to meet with, so hopefully he can commit to visiting one a week. 🙁
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I agree with his Mom that she should stay out of it- MUCH easier that way!! 🙂
Since photographers can book in advance, I like your idea of bringing the contract on a date- “Let’s go over this *now*.” Last thing either of you want is for your photographer to get booked, and then you have to start all over again (because that probably *would* put you over the deep end).
Because he’s so busy, is he okay with you doing the legwork- ex. you interview the DJs, then get him to meet your top choice? Or is he okay with leaving certain decisions to you alone? Darling Husband didn’t meet our DJ until the wedding. He didn’t care about the cake or flowers, so I took care of those decisions.
Sounds like your Fiance wouldn’t have free time until the holiday break- and I doubt he’s going to want to spend it cramming all the wedding planning into a week. He needs to figure out what decisions he wants to be involved with (or maybe come up with a list of questions for the DJ, if he can’t make the meeting), then let you take care of the other planning.
Post # 12
I think he likes the idea of being involved with planning. He loves music and sound systems, so who we pick for a DJ is important to him. So, he wants to go interview people with me, but maybe I can have a heart to heart with him, and get him to either commit to coming to a DJ once a week with me, or trust my judgement!