(Closed) About to go off the deep end here!!!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

It’ll be okay. Calm down, and ask youself what you can do right now that will help move the situation along. If there’s nothing, find a distraction. I think some of the girls on the waiting board may have some advice on being insistant without being obnoxious ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

Explain to him that there are certain things that need to be done before others and at a certain point in the timeline and stress that you understand he’s busy and that’s fine can he trust you to make the decision and sign the contracts on your own?  Wedding planning needs to continue even if he doesn’t have the time to help with everything, luckily you do!

Post # 5
Member
8453 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Set up a timeline/checklist of what needs to be done.  Also, try and have the information (cost, what is included, payment schedule, etc) on hand so he can evaluate each vendor without having to do too much research on his own.  The other thing is budget.  My Fiance was stalling initially because he was worried about funding our wedding, but since we’d sat down and talked about our budget it’s been smooth sailing.  Hopefully this helps, good luck.

Post # 6
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’ll be ok!  We didn’t officially sign the contract for our photographer until 3 months before.  The Darling Husband didn’t understand how fast photographers around here book up; and, we were forunate our photographer wasn’t booked for our date.  Sit your Fiance down and calmly talk to him about what needs to be done.  If your Fiance is anything like mine, he needed me to take the reins and handle it on my own. 

Post # 7
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Does he really need to be so involved? Since he’s so busy, tell him to let you take the lead on wedding planning and trust your judgment. Also explain to him that the longer you have to wait, the fewer options you’ll have.

Post # 8
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

That sounds frustrating. How about you make a list of things that need to be done in the next 3 months, then have him pick a few things he’d like to help with. That way, he can help with things that are really important to him, and you can get everything else done quickly. 

Post # 9
Member
986 posts
Busy bee

I would definitely try as hard as possible to explain to him that you really need to get certain things booked as soon as possible, because if you don’t book them, someone else may! Also, try sitting down when he does have a spare moment and showing him the vendor you want to book (if he hasn’t seen their work or met with him) and hopefully that along with your input can allow you to move forward even if he can’t physically meet with them. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 11
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I agree with his Mom that she should stay out of it- MUCH easier that way!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Since photographers can book in advance, I like your idea of bringing the contract on a date- “Let’s go over this *now*.” Last thing either of you want is for your photographer to get booked, and then you have to start all over again (because that probably *would* put you over the deep end).

Because he’s so busy, is he okay with you doing the legwork- ex. you interview the DJs, then get him to meet your top choice? Or is he okay with leaving certain decisions to you alone? Darling Husband didn’t meet our DJ until the wedding. He didn’t care about the cake or flowers, so I took care of those decisions.

Sounds like your Fiance wouldn’t have free time until the holiday break- and I doubt he’s going to want to spend it cramming all the wedding planning into a week. He needs to figure out what decisions he wants to be involved with (or maybe come up with a list of questions for the DJ, if he can’t make the meeting), then let you take care of the other planning.

Good Luck!

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