- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
The wedding is less than 2 weeks away and there is still SO MUCH to do. We planned our wedding on a tight budget and have not had the best support system at all. Back when I first got engaged, I went dress shopping with my mom, grandma, and bridesmaids. I found a dress that I loved for $950 but didn’t want to pay that much. Mom assured me that she was paying for the dress and that she wanted me to have the one that I wanted. She said she didn’t have any cash at the time, so I’d have to make the down payment and she’d pay me back and make the rest of the payments. Well…it ended up me paying for the dress by myself, which I was fine with. But I would NEVER had gotten that dress unless she had talked me into it. It would have saved some money.
I have paid for the dresses for my 2 maids of honor – these were under $50 bucks and are absolutely gorgeous, but I know that were struggling financially so I paid for them. I also paid for my flower girl’s dress because her mother struggles financially as well. And I paid for my brother’s tux – again, financial struggles. I chose to do this because I do feel that since it’s my wedding, I shouldn’t bring any financial problems to other people, but I just feel that my fiance and I help people out SO much. I’ve lent out about $900 in the past few months that COULD have been used for the wedding. I even took out a $2000 loan to help my family fix their car. I paid for my mom’s dress for the wedding and she won’t be paying me back until after we get back from the honeymoon. It’s in my nature to help people.
My Maid/Matron of Honor is engaged, and I have told her that she can use ANYTHING of mine that she wants for her wedding because I know that she’s freaking out about how to pay for it. My fiance’s cousin is getting married 2 days before ours – we never received invites, I have NO idea if I’m even invited, AND they never returned their RSVPs so we have NO idea if they are coming or not. But the cousin’s mom called my fiance’s mom to ask to borrow his brand new suit he got a couple months ago because this cousin does not have enough money to go rent a tux. My fiance really didn’t want to because he’s afraid it will get ruined and he’s only worn it for graduation. My point is we are willing to help ALL these people, but when we ask for help – like asking if this woman who just called and asked to borrow an expensive suit for her son’s wedding to fix one simple dish for the wedding and for her to say no because she can’t afford it?? She can’t afford to go out and AT LEAST buy some crackers and cheese or a freaking bag of chips??? And it’s not just her; it’s several people. We are down to about $300 left of our budget to finish everything. And I’m just super stressed out because I am terrified we will end up with NO food.
I just wish I had not gotten that expensive dress. I wish I hadn’t went on ebay and bought several pieces of cheap lingerie from Asia since I knew I couldn’t rely on any family or friends to throw me a lingerie party. I wish we hadn’t listened to all of my freaking family who are unable to help pay for this but who DEMANDED that every single freaking second cousin, third cousin, etc. etc. MUST be invited. I don’t even KNOW these people! And I’m gonna have to try to come up with some way to feed all these people that are too ignorant to even let us know if they are coming to the wedding.
Yeah, I don’t think I’m ABOUT to have a breakdown – I think I definitely am =( I’m sorry for this rant, I just had to vent.
And I’m doing this all on a poor college student’s budget. I did my student teaching this past semester and it took ALL my energy – 40-45 hours working without pay, plus coming home and working 2-3 hours more every night grading papers and writing lesson plans, plus my entire spring break working on my 90 page teacher work sample AND helping organize my bridal shower because everyone else claimed they were SO busy and couldn’t help. Now don’t get me wrong – there are some people that ARE helping, but my feelings are just hurt. I can’t help but feel like people don’t care.