Post # 1
My Fiance, who originally agreed to having no wedding party, out of nowhere tells me he invited two men to be groomsmen. Now…I have been wound up pretty tight about a lot of stuff. I lost it and told him no. He said he could do whatever he wants. I said, well, if it is going to be like that, I don’t want a wedding. Let’s just do the JOP.
I really don’t want a wedding party.The wedding is supposed to be in October. It’s our second marriage. It’s not like we are 20 years old. Ugh. What would you do?
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
I’m sorry. I was giggling so hard when I read that he said “I can do whatever I want.”
That’s hilarious and cute.
Anyways, I feel your stress. If he can do whatever he wants, let him do it. You don’t need to add people just because he did. Then, when the wedding day arrives, politely tell his “groomsmen” that they have reserved seats on the front row. Leave it at that.
But I wouldn’t threaten to call off the whole thing. That’s not how to handle disputes.
Post # 4
my DH did the same thing and had two groomsmen, I had no one… it looks a little lopsided, but oh well
Post # 5
Thank you so much, both of you!…..I was so mad when I wrote that. I do know that I could have chosen a more constructive way to handle, but we all have our irrational loony-tunes moments.
@globalmargaret: thank you letting me know it CAN be done
@honeybee1999: your post made me laugh — you are a Genius. 🙂
I was thinking of giving them important roles. One of them a reading and another the “vows” for the guests such as “do you vow to steer beedawi and her Fiance onto the right path when they become irrational?”
Post # 6
This exact thing happened to me. I wanted to elope, he wanted a wedding. I wanted a maid of honor & best man… tops. Fiance then told me one day that he told 3 friends he wanted them to be groomsmen and that they could pick out their own grey suits. So, I dealt. I really just wanted a small wedding party because it’s a small wedding (50 people) but it was an important way for him to honor his friends. I’m sure it will work out. It’s all give and take, right?
Post # 7
@subjunctivitis: Thank you for sharing what happened. It’s like we are the same person. right down to the grey suits….except you actually handled it well! lol
Yes, it is give and take and I really need to suck it up in the morning and apologize.
Post # 8
@beedawi: I think he should have to stick to what he originally agreed to! He should not have done this without talking to you about it first because it’s not HIS wedding, it’s both of your wedding! By the way, I don’t blame you one bit for not wanting a bridal party! This is my first (and hopefully only) marriage, but the people in my bridal party have given me that much grief that NEVER AGAIN would I even CONSIDER having a bridal party if I ever happen to get married again. In fact, my advice to other brides now is to not have a bridal party the first time around either! Bridal parties are nothing but trouble!
Post # 9
By the same token, it is not YOUR wedding, it is BOTH your wedding. So if you don’t want anyone standing up with you, don’t have any. Let gin deal with his groomsmen.