(Closed) Absent FIL and Selfish MIL-How to deal?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It sounds like she just might be feeling left out of his life.  Try to put yourself in her shoes, her son got married, she wasn’t able to attend the wedding and she feels like she doesn’t get to talk to him much.  I think it’s great if you want to call her, she would probably really appreciate that, however, I wouldn’t call to ‘find out what is going on with her’.  I’d just call to chat and check in with her and update her on your and your husbands life.

Post # 4
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t think it would be ‘wrong’ for you to call his mother, but do you think it would really be for the better?

Whenever SO has an issue with his parents, I tend to let him deal with it. Its not that I don’t care, but it is between them and I don’t want to cause any more conflict. Just be supportive to him.

ETA: I agree with PP, a phone call just to ‘catch up’ would probably be better!

Post # 5
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

When my husband’s mother screams at him on the phone, he tells her she can’t talk to him that way and he’ll call her back later in the week when she’s had time to cool down. She’s an adult and can tell him that she feels left out without pitching a fit. 

Post # 7
7387 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I wouldn’t get involved. If you are calling to confront her, do you really think that will have any positive outcome? Their relationship dynamic has been formed long before you were in the picture. I’d stay out of it. However, a call to check up would be fine.

Post # 8
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@bklynbridetobe:  Agree.  This is your husband’s battle to fight if he chooses.  If you intend to confront your Mother-In-Law you’re asking for trouble.  Even though he’s your spouse, it’s really none of your business.  Hard as it is to stay out of it, it is what’s best.

If you want to check in, have a friendly conversation without confrontation, then by all means go for it!

The topic ‘Absent FIL and Selfish MIL-How to deal?’ is closed to new replies.

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