(Closed) Absolutely DREADING getting my picture taken

posted 4 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 16
555 posts
Busy bee

I’ve felt this way too, but as I get older the more I like my younger pictures 😉 

Post # 17
540 posts
Busy bee

If the sight of your self makes you physically sick (wow, that’s so incredibly sad to read), then why are you even spending money and wasting time on your wedding day on photography? You are so hard on yourself that you’ll just nitpick them anyways. Honestly if I were you, I’d just skip that all together. 

Post # 18
39 posts
  • Wedding: June 2018

I feel similar, with treatment for anxiety etc. as well. And we hired a wedding photographer and every now and again I get a burst of anxiety because I’m worried I won’t be able to look nice enough and I’ll make her job too hard and she’ll be disappointed in me and the pictures will be horrible etc etc etc.

But then I think about the pictures that were taken of me ten years ago or whatever, that made me CRINGE when I saw them at the time, when I picked apart all my flaws, and now, when I see those pictures, instead of picking apart my face or my expression or whatever, I remember the absolute fun I was having, the amazing day that was, the perfect experience it had, the reason I’m smiling like a crazy goofball, and I think I look amazing.

So try not to let your anxiety about the pictures interfere, because maybe you’ll hate them when you get them back from your photographer… but in ten years? Twenty? You’re going to look back without the lens of self-hatred and anxiety and you’re just going to remember a perfect day, and you’re going to want those pictures.

So, if you can’t do it for You Today, do it for Future You! I’m sure she’ll thank you, and be a whole lot less critical.

Post # 19
2034 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Op if that’s you in the picture, I don’t know what you’re seeing but I see a beautiful woman.

Post # 20
3848 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014


View original reply
nicoleraymond90 :   If that is you in the icon photo, you are absolutely beautiful.  I’m sorry you see yourself as otherwise.  Big hugs to you, I understand as I feel the same about my photos.  I have looked at our wedding album twice in four years – once only because SIL wanted to see it.

Have you spoken to your photographer about getting some photos which are either soft focus, or silhouette, or even with your veil, just to try some things which might take the edge off how harshly you see yourself?

Also you could show your photographer the pictures of yourself you *do* like to see if that angle can be replicated.

Wishing you all the best.  More hugs.  

Post # 21
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Just popping in to say that if that’s you in your display picture, you have nothing to worry about! You look really beautiful! I know that a stranger saying this will probably not help with your problem, but even in the slightest chance that it might, I wanted to let you know 🙂 xx

Post # 22
515 posts
Busy bee

I’m the biggest I’ve ever been. Size us 8 on top to 10 below. I’m nervous about photos as hated my bridal shower pics.

However I went to my dress fitting today and I felt amazing. The dress fits beautifully, shows my best features etc. Once you have your make up on, hair done and a tan. You’ll look and feel a million dollars.

Post # 23
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Maybe practice posing with a mirror? Most people (including me) aren’t very good at predicting what their face or body looks like at any given time – but with practice you can find a pose and facial expression that you’ve trained yourself to know by feel, that you can kinda “snap into” when a picture is coming.

Use the mirror to find a good neutral expression and pose, pay attention to how it feels and try to memorize it. Then go walk around / loosen up for a minute. Then, in front of the mirror with your eyes closed, try to get back into the pose. Open your eyes and see if it worked – it’ll probably take practice over the course of days or weeks though.

I’ve used that method a little to try to combat my resting bitch face – I had to practice a neutral smile face that I could snap into when I want to look pleasant and nonthreatening (sometimes I’m kind of a forceful person haha).

Post # 24
10190 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
nicoleraymond90 :  

Oh, sweetie.  Some people are very photogenic, some people are not.  

What you’re describing goes far beyond typical disappointment.  I have no idea what the therapy-phobia around here is all about.  You are certainly suffering far too much.  Your wedding photos are supposed to be a source of joy for you and your Fi.

Just saw your update and that you have been in and out of therapy.  I would argue that it’s time to find a therapist with expertise in body image issues.  

Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a thing:


Post # 25
10286 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
sassy411 :  yes. +1 a therapist with expertise in an area makes all of the difference.

Post # 26
2009 posts
Buzzing bee

I often find myself feeling this way, too. I once read somewhere that you’ve really never TRULY seen yourself…only a reflection in a mirror or an image from the lens of a camera. You’ve never truly been able to see the way that you look when you’re staring into the eyes of someone you love, or when you’re having candid moments of pure joy. 


Seeing that for the first time made me realize how we can be so hard on ourselves! So I hope you take this into consideration before refusing to be photographed on what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life. Your soon-to-be husband thinks you’re absolutely perfect, and I hope you can get past the insecurities and get pictures that will allow you to relive the beautiful moment that the two of you become one for the rest of your life. Good luck 🙂

Post # 27
3100 posts
Sugar bee

Have you thought about hiring a watercolor sketch artist? I love seeing watercolor sketches from weddings, and they tend to be quite flattering.  (In addition to or in lieu of a photographer).

and I recommend telling your photographer what most makes you self conscious so they can shoot in a way to minimize that and give you suggestions on posing, etc.

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