- 5 years ago
I have an account here but I’m posting this as anonymous. I’m beyond heartbroken. Just to give you some background…
I’m engaged to a great guy. We got engaged last March after dating for two years. I don’t have a ton of friends but those I do have are like family to me. One of my best friends since college is this guy, let’s call him “Brian.” Brian & I never dated. There was never a romantic spark between us. We’ve truly had a platonic friendship since day one, even during periods when we were both single. He’s one of my best friends in the world. Towards the end of college I became friends with this girl, let’s call her “Jenny.” Jenny & I just hit it off right away & became best friends. She moved back home after college so as a result, I don’t see her every day but we still talk all the time on the phone, through email, text, Facebook, etc. I probably talk to her more than any of my friends who live in the same city as me. We’ve been there for each other through thick & thin. Flash forward 10 years & now I’m engaged. When deciding on my wedding party, it was a no brainer. I asked Jenny to be my Maid/Matron of Honor right away. She was so excited & said yes immediately. She loves my Fiance & they get along great. Fiance & Brian get along super well too so Fiance asked Brian to be a groomsman.
Right after we got engaged (about a year ago) my parents threw us an engagement party. Jenny flew out for the party & spent most of the evening with Brian (they didn’t know each real well since Jenny & I didn’t become friends until the end of college & she moved back home right after graduation). Something must have been in the air that night because the two started a long distance relationship. I couldn’t have been happier or more excited when she told me. My two best friends were dating! I loved it! They’ve been dating for the past year & things seem to be going really well.
The last few months, however, I noticed a slight change in Brian. If Fiance wanted to hang out, he was always available. But whenever I wanted to grab lunch or go to the movies or something, all of a sudden he wasn’t available. Long story short, he came to see me last night & told me that we shouldn’t hang out together alone. That, in so many words, it wasn’t right since we were both in relationships. I was stunned. Where was this coming from??? There was no inkling of romance between the two of us. I started questioning him on why this was an issue. I assured him that a) I was beyond happy with Fiance & would never cheat on him & b) I wasn’t interested in him romantically. He was quiet for a while until he started hemming and hawing. I could tell he was holding back. Finally he said, “It’s just…it makes Jenny uncomfortable when we’re alone together. She gets really jealous.” And there it was. I realized then that he knew it was a ridiculous request but it was all coming from her. Honestly it was a like a punch to the gut. Not only did Jenny, a girl I think of like a sister, not trust me, but she didn’t even have the guts to say it to my face. She had her boyfriend do the dirty work. I was completely gutted. One dear friend didn’t trust me to keep my hands off her boyfriend & another friend didn’t have the guts to defend me to his girlfriend.
I was so angry I basically told Brian to just leave. This was last night. I haven’t spoken to Jenny yet. I have NO clue what to say to her. My emotions are running high right now & I feel like I have to collect myself before I say something to her that I might regret. She posted on my FB wall this morning. She found some favor ideas & wanted to send them my way. All I could think when I saw it was, seriously??? You want to act like nothing happened last night? (I’d be stunned if she didn’t know he came to see me last night) All of a sudden you’re my best friend who just wants to send me wedding ideas???
To make matters worse, Fiance is furious. He’s completely insulted on my behalf & doesn’t want either of them in the wedding party now. I haven’t reached that point yet but I’m so disappointed in both of them.
Am I overreacting? Would you be hurt too?